'Well, Lonna Katsav is coming to pick you up.' The police officer offered me a stick of chewing gum. 'She's not going to press charges, you'll be happy to know. Though she thought about it.'
I held up my shackles. I sighed. 'Make sure that she sees me in these at least, would you?'
It should be said that throughout the whole ordeal my officer did an admirable job of not once gawping at my nose. The first fellow I encountered at the station had demanded that I actually remove it, thinking it was part of my medieval garb.
The punishment for drunk driving without a license in a stolen car consisted of a fine and the recommendation that I serve my parole in thrice-weekly Anger Management & Self-Betterment Workshops. However, because my late wife knew some people who knew some people who knew the judge, I was allowed a unique alternative. Thus, I became the first male member of Tivona's medieval music therapy workshop. Truth is, nobody was particularly worried that I'd anger. I rarely did. They simply knew that I would, on principle, risk six months in the threatened cage rather than submit myself to the group hugs with mountain people I was certain such Self-Bettermenting entailed. Better, finally, to chant. Better eighteen months of intuitive healing with Tivona Henry.
Excerpted from All Shall Be Well; And All Shall Be Well; And All Manner of Things Shall Be Well by Tod Wodicka Copyright © 2008 by Tod Wodicka. Excerpted by permission of Pantheon, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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No Man's Land
by Simon Tolkien
Inspired by the experiences of his grandfather, J. R. R. Tolkien, during World War I.
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