How Becoming Published Changed My Life (in ways I did not expect)

Shortly before my first novel was published, I walked through a bookstore with my son. "Once my book is published, I'm not going to be able to do this any more," I told him. Wander into a book store and pleasantly meander the aisles. It was hard to articulate, but suddenly I realized that the next time I walked into a bookstore -- and likely all the times thereafter -- I would be self-consciously focused on one thing: my own book. Did they have it? Where was it placed? Should I offer to sign it? (Was I presentable?)

And it was true ... Going in and out of bookstores became stressful, loaded with angst. I felt I'd been robbed.

But now -- now that I've four novels published and am writing my fifth -- I've discovered that it is possible (sometimes!) to return to that pure reader-state once again, to completely forget to check to see if my titles are in stock. Or even, if I do see them there, to chose not to offer to sign them (feeling like a lazy author, feeling that I'm shirking my responsibility). Authors are not movie stars by any means, but going in and out of a bookstore incognito has a certain thrill, I confess.

But there is, as well (another confession), a thrill in being recognized. The bookstore clerk who asked, "Have you been waiting long for the new Sandra Gulland?" (Yes, I have!) The bookstore owner who told me her staff had titled a certain customer look of furious frustration when told a book wasn't in "The Gulland look" -- because that's how their customers responded when told that my books weren't in stock. The drugstore clerk who took my Visa and said, "There's a good author whose name is Sandra Gulland."

This is the fun part -- and it helps off-set the readings where only three people show up (and one falls asleep, snoring).

But becoming published surprised me in other, much more significant ways. I never expected the connection with readers to be so profound, so intimate. Letters from readers sometimes make me weep.

While I was writing the second novel in the Josephine B. Trilogy, a man wrote to me that his mother had read and loved the first in the Trilogy. How soon would the next be published? She was dying, he confessed, and she longed to read it. My heart sank: Tales of Passion, Tales of Woe wouldn't be out for well over a year, and so ...  And so I sent her the unfinished draft I was working on. Drafts are messy, and I dearly hope it didn't disappoint her.

One writes very privately, for years. Curiously, I never expected readers. They are an important part of my personal universe now, angelic presences, wishing me well  ... cheering me on. I rarely meet them, but when I do, it's very special.

--- Sandra Gulland


Sandra Gulland is author of the Josephine B. Trilogy, internationally best-selling novels about Josephine Bonaparte, now published in 14 countries. Her most recent novel, Mistress of the Sun, is set in the 17th century court of Louis XIV, the Sun King. Deemed "dangerously seductive," it too has been on best-seller lists and is presently published in 7 languages. For more information about the author, her research and her work, see her website: sandragulland.com. She can be contacted online in a number of ways: she blogs at sandragulland.blogspot.com, and can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.