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The New Science of Love and Connection
by Paul Eastwick
A groundbreaking look at the science of attraction and compatibility, challenging our most fundamental assumptions about how human mating evolved—to demonstrate the real keys to romantic attachment.
Over the past few decades, a buzzy new branch of science has spread a deeply flawed story about romantic relationships. Cloaking itself in the language of incontrovertible Darwinian fact, evolutionary psychology claims that our minds have been shaped by primal drives that pit the genders against each other, from the myth that men are wired to be promiscuous to the notion that wealth, status, and beauty are the ultimate aphrodisiacs.
Drawing on pathbreaking research—including original experiments from his own lab—UC Davis psychology professor Paul Eastwick reveals that these stories bear little resemblance to how pair-bonding really works. While beauty and charisma factor into first impressions, their influence fades fast—after a few months, we barely agree on who's "desirable." From ancestral times through the present, Eastwick shows, lasting attraction has been built through gradual, often mundane moments that forge strong attachment bonds. Ultimately, he offers a liberating new paradigm for finding meaningful, exciting relationships, showing readers:
- Why the traits we often look for in a partner—personality, lifestyle, values, and humor—are poor predictors of compatibility, and what behaviors and experiences we should focus on instead.
- Why someone's tendency to "date around" or their reputation as a player has little bearing on their long-term relationship potential.
- Why the most secure relationships offer a "safe haven" and "secure base" for each partner, and how to cultivate them in new and existing relationships.
By excavating the hidden history of human mating, Eastwick paints a radical new picture of the roots of enduring chemistry. Distilling evolutionary biology, anthropology, and psychology into accessible insights, Bonded by Evolution explains why we so often choose dating strategies that make us miserable and how to use a more evolved approach.
"Eastwick analyzes how the EvoScript theory has shaped the modern dating landscape, from online dating to tradwife and incel subcultures that reinforce rigid notions of gender, and offers useful suggestions for finding one's partner in spite of such obstacles...Bolstered by thorough research, lucid personal anecdotes, and useful questionnaires, the result is an astute road map for finding a love that lasts." —Publishers Weekly (starred review)
"In this bold and compelling challenge to the popular science of romance, Paul Eastwick argues that human beings have not evolved to find partners who match their beauty and brilliance or maximize the potential of their offspring, but to seek compatibility. The implications of this thesis are both profound and pragmatic, suggesting an entirely different approach to the study—and pursuit—of love." —Eric Klinenberg, Helen Gould Shepard Professor in the Social Sciences at NYU and coauthor of Modern Romance
"In a world saturated with cynical advice about dating and gender, this book is a revelation. Eastwick argues—persuasively and often movingly—that human beings are built for cooperation, not conquest. Bonded by Evolution is rigorous science written with warmth and moral clarity." —Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Drive and The Power of Regret
This information about Bonded by Evolution was first featured
in "The BookBrowse Review" - BookBrowse's membership magazine, and in our weekly "Publishing This Week" newsletter. Publication information is for the USA, and (unless stated otherwise) represents the first print edition. The reviews are necessarily limited to those that were available to us ahead of publication. If you are the publisher or author and feel that they do not properly reflect the range of media opinion now available, send us a message with the mainstream reviews that you would like to see added.
Any "Author Information" displayed below reflects the author's biography at the time this particular book was published.
Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program and the director of the Attraction and Relationships Research Laboratory. Thousands of undergraduate students have taken his course on attraction and close relationships, and he has published over one hundred scientific articles and chapters and won numerous early career awards. His research and writing has been featured in outlets like The New York Times, The Atlantic, NPR, and Scientific American Mind. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his longtime colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. He earned his bachelor's degree at Cornell University and his PhD at Northwestern University.
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