I Found My Tribe Reading Guide & Discussion Questions

Book Club Discussion Questions

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For supplemental discussion material see our Beyond the Book article, Eye-Gaze Computers and our BookBrowse Review of I Found My Tribe.

Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!

1. Consider the memoir's epigraph, "I must be a mermaid, Rango, I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living." What would Ruth consider to be "shallow living"? How does Ruth combat shallow living?
2. Discuss the members of Ruth's "tribe" and how they support her physically and emotionally. Before Simon's diagnosis, her family was her tribe; she writes: "We knew nobody at first but didn't need anybody. Friends were secondary. We were our own tribe" (49). But as Simon's symptoms worsen, Ruth realizes her tribe needs to grow. They move back to Greystones, and she begins to assemble new members. Her friends, her children, and her cove all become a part of Ruth's tribe. How does each tribe member contribute to Ruth's wellbeing? What does it/they bring her? Additionally, explore the concept of having a "tribe." Do you have people or places in your own life who collaborate to lift you up? Who/what are they?
3. Throughout the story, Ruth struggles to find a balance between chaos and order. MND erased any normalcy Simon and Ruth once had. She laments that "illness by its nature is disorderly" (53). Medicine prescribes order, and Ruth tries her best to believe that it will work: "Safety systems soothe our sick souls. A religion for the unwell. Systems will save us and bring forth serenity" (53). But she ultimately discovers, after taking a hard fall outside their home, that "systems won't ever win" (57) and "playing things too safe would swamp us" (85). Discuss the ways in which Ruth fights chaos with chaos. What systems does she reject? What chaotic or unpredictable coping mechanisms does she embrace?

Unless otherwise stated, this discussion guide is reprinted with the permission of Bloomsbury Press. Any page references refer to a USA edition of the book, usually the trade paperback version, and may vary in other editions.