BookBrowse Reviews A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum

BookBrowse:

Etaf Rum's debut novel, A Woman Is No Man, explores the lives of three generations of Palestinian-American women as they struggle with questions of love and family in their Bay Ridge, Brooklyn home.

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The chapters of A Woman Is No Man alternate between two time periods and the narrative viewpoints of three women. We are first introduced to 17-year-old Isra as she meets her soon-to-be husband, Adam, in Palestine in 1990. She was chosen by Adam's mother Fareeda to marry her son because she is quiet and obedient. Adam and his family live in America, and Isra returns there with them immediately after the wedding ceremony, hoping to be granted greater freedom than she experienced under her own mother's roof. She soon finds, however, that her role in the household is that of a servant, her husband is an abusive alcoholic, and her position becomes increasingly unbearable with each of the four girls she gives birth to, since she has not produced the all-important male heir.

The next voice we hear is that of Isra's eldest daughter, Deya, who in 2008 is only slightly older than her mother was when she married Adam. She lives with her grandparents and her sisters, and has grown up believing that her parents died when she was young. Fareeda is consumed with seeing Deya married and is constantly having her meet suitors, but Deya is disinterested, wanting to go to college and have a career.

Finally, readers experience Fareeda's perspective during both time periods as she ruminates on her life as a refugee, her culture and her changing family.

Rum adeptly explores many complicated and important themes throughout the novel, but primarily she focuses on the roles culture and family play throughout the lives of these individuals and, by extension, many others of Arab descent. Fareeda, representative of the older generation, reinforces the importance of tradition with those in her orbit, even when others view her espoused practices as unacceptable in modern society. She illustrates how harmful cultural traditions are repeated even by their victims. The other two women show how difficult it is to break free from this damaging cycle.

Although Rum's writing style is somewhat simplistic, her characters are extremely well-drawn and sympathetic across the board. The predicaments the women find themselves in could have been challenging for a Western audience to relate to, but the author skillfully guides her readers into understanding why they feel so boxed in and helpless. Also, although she clearly concentrates on the roles and experiences of women, one nice surprise is that she also touches on the challenges her male characters endure as they try to live up to cultural norms - something I'm not sure I've read often in books dealing with this sort of subject matter. Although Adam, for example, takes his rage out on his wife, one actually feels sorry for him, as he does everything in his power to live up to his family's expectations, in spite of their complete lack of gratitude for his sacrifices.

There were several aspects of the book that I feel could have been better. I did enjoy the storyline, but I found it utterly predictable. I also found the very short chapters somewhat annoying, frequently wishing the author had stuck with one woman's story longer before switching to another. And finally, the author formulated some interesting observations but overall labored the points she was trying to make, causing the plot to drag halfway through.

Readers should also keep in mind that, while A Woman Is No Man ends on a hopeful note, overall it's a pretty sad tale; Isra obviously suffers from worsening and untreated depression, and she is treated brutally by those around her. Still, it offers a nuanced picture of a woman's life within a traditional Arab-American family, and as such it's definitely worth a read. The book is highly recommended for those interested in learning more about the culture, and book groups in particular will find much fodder for discussion.

This review was originally published in The BookBrowse Review in December 2019, and has been updated for the February 2020 edition. Click here to go to this issue.