BookBrowse Reviews You Will Not Have My Hate by Antoine Leiris

Summary |  Excerpt |  Reviews |  Beyond the book |  Readalikes |  Genres & Themes |  Author Bio

You Will Not Have My Hate

by Antoine Leiris

You Will Not Have My Hate by Antoine Leiris X
You Will Not Have My Hate by Antoine Leiris
  • Critics' Opinion:

    Readers' Opinion:

     Not Yet Rated
  • First Published:
    Oct 2016, 144 pages
    Oct 2017, 144 pages

  • Rate this book

Book Reviewed by:
Kim Kovacs

Buy This Book

About this Book



A father and a husband mourns the tragic loss of his wife to terrorism.

On Friday, November 13, 2015, a series of coordinated terrorist attacks in Paris left 130 people dead, 89 of them at the city's Bataclan theater (see 'Beyond the Book'). Antoine Leiris's wife Hélène was at the Bataclan that night. In You Will Not Have My Hate he writes about waiting to learn her fate and the subsequent process of grieving her death.

The title is somewhat deceptive because it makes one believe that the book might not only detail the author's experiences but also discuss his response to terrorism. In fact, only a few pages move the focus beyond the intimate portrayal of one man's grief. The book's genesis is a Facebook posting, made a few days after Hélène's death, which encapsulates Leiris's opinion about the attackers:

On Friday night, you stole the life of an exceptional being, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you will not have my hate. I don't know who you are and I don't want to know. You are dead souls. If that God for whom you blindly kill made us in his image, each bullet in my wife's body will have been a wound in his heart.

So, no, I will not give you the satisfaction of hating you. That is what you want, but to respond to your hate with anger would be to yield to the same ignorance that made you what you are. You want me to be scared, to see my fellow citizens through suspicious eyes, to sacrifice my freedom for security. You have failed. I will not change.

This important sentiment deserves to be shared widely. The narrative, however, is mostly an expression of the author's anguish at the loss of his soulmate and the pain of knowing their 17-month old son Melvil will grow up without his mother, too young to process her death.

Leiris has an impressive ability to surface above the fog of his grief and catalog his experiences and others' reactions. The work doesn't feel episodic even if the author admits the book doesn't relay a complete story: "There are only these instants that rise up, taking me by surprise. It was these moments I had to write about, Polaroids of a life that has not yet gotten its breath back."

Leiris's writing, ably translated by Sam Taylor, borders on poetry and is astonishing in its beauty:

At the day-care center, everyone knows. When I arrive each morning, every person I see wears a mask. The carnival of the dead. Even if I tell them the fable of a man who will not lose control, I cannot persuade them to take off the masks. I know that, for them, I am no longer me: I am a ghost, the ghost of Hélène.

Melvil is alive. Almost as soon as he gets there, the masks come off. He enters on tiptoe, says good-bye to me, smiles, and one burst of laughter is all it takes for the funeral faces to fall to the bottom of the toy chest.

Leiris meticulously chronicles the swirl of emotions he experienced—from the moment he saw the horrifying headlines on the television news to the first glimmer of hope that he might begin to enjoy life again, weeks later. With breathtaking intensity, he writes about his initial inability to connect events to his wife ("I should call [Hélène], tell her it would be a good idea to take a taxi home") to the increasing fear that she was among the casualties. Although all grief is unique, in exposing his own so nakedly he hits sympathetic chords that transform it into something that universally resonates. His sorrow becomes our own. Readers who have known sudden, tragic loss will undoubtedly relate completely to Leiris's reactions, while those who haven't will better understand what it's like to lose the person around whom one's life revolves.

You Will Not Have My Hate is exceptionally slim, but it packs a powerful punch. Not everyone will be able to handle such a deeply sorrowful work, but those who do will likely be profoundly moved.

Reviewed by Kim Kovacs

This review was originally published in November 2016, and has been updated for the October 2017 paperback release. Click here to go to this issue.

This review is available to non-members for a limited time. For full access, become a member today.
Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" backstories
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $10 for 3 months or $35 for a year
  • More about membership!

Editor's Choice

  • Book Jacket: Small Fry
    Small Fry
    by Lisa Brennan-Jobs
    Small Fry is the debut memoir from Lisa Brennan-Jobs, long-time journalist and writer, and oldest ...
  • Book Jacket: The Winter Soldier
    The Winter Soldier
    by Daniel Mason
    Imagine the thousands of confounding cases doctors face routinely for which diagnoses are hard to ...
  • Book Jacket: Brother
    by David Chariandy
    Brother is the brief, moving account of how a single, tragic moment in time can alter the course of ...
  • Book Jacket
    The Islamic Enlightenment
    by Christopher de Bellaigue
    In this comprehensive and well-researched history, de Bellaigue examines the evolution of Islamic ...

Book Discussion
Book Jacket
The Removes by Tatjana Soli

A powerful, transporting novel about the addictive intensity and freedom of the American frontier.

About the book
Join the discussion!

Readers Recommend

  • Book Jacket

    French Exit
    by Patrick deWitt

    A brilliant and darkly comic novel from bestselling author Patrick deWitt.
    Reader Reviews

Win this book!
Win The Clockmaker's Daughter

The Clockmaker's Daughter by Kate Morton

A rich, spellbinding new novel from the author of The Lake House. On sale Oct 9.


Word Play

Solve this clue:

T Turn T S

and be entered to win..

Books that     

 & enlighten

Visitors can view some of BookBrowse for free. Full access is for members only.

Join Today!

Your guide toexceptional          books

BookBrowse seeks out and recommends books that we believe to be best in class. Books that will whisk you to faraway places and times, that will expand your mind and challenge you -- the kinds of books you just can't wait to tell your friends about.