BookBrowse Reviews Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté

Summary |  Excerpt |  Reviews |  Readalikes |  Genres & Themes |  Author Bio

Hold On To Your Kids

Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

by Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté

Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté
  • Critics' Opinion:

    Readers' Opinion:

  • First Published:
    Apr 2005, 304 pages
    Paperback:
    Aug 2006, 304 pages

  • Rate this book


Book Reviewed by:
BookBrowse Review Team

Buy This Book

About this Book

Reviews

BookBrowse:


Original insights on parent-child attachments and how parents can restore them. Parenting

From the book jacket: A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children.

Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behavior. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions.

Comment: As children grow it is inevitable, and a good thing, that they start to gravitate away from their parents to establish identities for themselves.   However, Gordon Neufeld makes a very strong case that the modern-day trend for children to become peer-orientated at increasingly early ages, often actively encouraged by their parents, does not give a child the opportunity to establish the healthy identity that most parents hope for their children, but, ironically does quite the opposite, causing them to suppress their individuality, curiosity and intelligence in order to fit the group norm. 

Neufeld, a Canadian developmental psychologist, suggests that in order to reverse the trend towards "tribalization", parents need to recognize how vital the adult-child relationship is to their children, and he offers effective strategies for preserving or restoring a caring adult-child hierarchy in which our children can grow into the happy, productive adults we hope they will be.

His book quickly hit the bestseller charts when it was published in Canada about two years ago, having received glowing reviews from both "experts" and parents.  His advice is both timely and well-written.  For more about him and his views, visit BookBrowse or his website at www.gordonneufeld.com.

This review is from the October 5, 2006 issue of BookBrowse Recommends. Click here to go to this issue.



This review is available to non-members for a limited time. For full access become a member today.
Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" backstories
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $10 for 3 months or $35 for a year
  • More about membership!

Support BookBrowse

Become a Member and discover books that entertain, engage & enlighten!

Join Today!

Editor's Choice

  • Book Jacket: New People
    New People
    by Danzy Senna
    Danzy Senna has spent virtually her entire writing career exploring the complicated intersections of...
  • Book Jacket: Hunger
    Hunger
    by Roxane Gay
    In this penetrating and fearless memoir, author Roxane Gay discusses her battle with body acceptance...
  • Book Jacket: The Black Witch
    The Black Witch
    by Laurie Forest
    In The Black Witch, Laurie Forest introduces her readers to an immersive fantasy world where ...

Book Discussion
Book Jacket
Cruel Beautiful World by Caroline Leavitt

Cruel Beautiful World examines the intricate, infinitesimal distance between seduction and love, loyalty and duty.

About the book
Join the discussion!

First Impressions

  • Book Jacket

    Happiness
    by Heather Harpham

    A love story that follows a one-of-a-kind family through twists of fate that require nearly unimaginable choices.
    Reader Reviews

Win this book!
Win Hame

Hame by Annalena McAfee

A rich, sultry novel about a young American fleeing a crumbling marriage for a remote Scottish island.

Enter

Word Play

Solve this clue:

A F Out O W

and be entered to win..

Books that     
entertain,
     engage

 & enlighten

Visitors can view some of BookBrowse for free. Full access is for members only.

Join Today!

Your guide toexceptional          books

BookBrowse seeks out and recommends books that we believe to be best in class. Books that will whisk you to faraway places and times, that will expand your mind and challenge you -- the kinds of books you just can't wait to tell your friends about.