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Excerpt from More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

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More Happy Than Not

by Adam Silvera

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera X
More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera
  • Critics' Opinion:

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     Not Yet Rated
  • First Published:
    Jun 2015, 304 pages
    Paperback:
    Apr 2016, 304 pages

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Book Reviewed by:
Bradley Sides
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Print Excerpt


"Uh . . ." I hug her back, never knowing what to say when she cries about what Dad did and what I tried to do. I just look at the Leteo pamphlets again. There is something else we could've done for him—we just never would've been able to afford it. "I should probably shower before the water gets cold again. Sorry."

She lets me go. "It's okay, my son."

I pretend everything is okay as I rush to the bathroom where steam has fogged up the mirror. I quickly undress. But I stop before stepping in because the tub—finally clean after lots of bleach—remains the spot where he took his life. His memories sucker punch my brother and me at every turn: the pen marks on the wall where he measured our height; the king-sized bed where he would flip us while watching the news; the stove where he cooked empanadas for our birthdays. We can't exactly just escape these things by moving into a different, bigger apartment. No, we're stuck here in this place where we have to shake mouse shit out of our shoes and inspect our glasses of soda before drinking in case roaches dived in while our backs were turned.

Our hot water doesn't run hot for very long so I jump in before I miss my chance.

I rest my head against the wall, the water sliding through my hair and down my back, and I think about all the memories I would want Leteo to bury. They all have to do with living in a post-Dad world. I flip over my wrist and stare at my scar. I can't believe I was once that guy who carved a smile into his wrist because he couldn't find happiness, that guy who thought he would find it in death. No matter what drove my dad to kill himself— his tough upbringing in a home with eight older brothers, or his job at the infamous post office up the block, or any one of a million reasons—I have to push ahead with the people who don't take the easy way out, who love me enough to stay alive even when life sucks.

I trace the smiling scar, left to right and right to left, happy to have it as a reminder not to be such a dumbass again.

Excerpted from More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera. Copyright © 2015 by Adam Silvera. Excerpted by permission of Soho Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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