Get our Best Book Club Books of 2025 eBook!

Excerpt from Before I Go To Sleep by S.J. Watson, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

Summary |  Excerpt |  Reading Guide |  Reviews |  Beyond the Book |  Readalikes |  Genres & Themes |  Author Bio

Before I Go To Sleep by S.J. Watson

Before I Go To Sleep

A Novel

by S.J. Watson
  • BookBrowse Review:
  • Critics' Consensus (4):
  • Readers' Rating (9):
  • First Published:
  • Jun 14, 2011, 368 pages
  • Paperback:
  • Feb 2012, 368 pages
  • Rate this book

About this Book

Print Excerpt


The name seems familiar, but only distantly so, as if I am having to make an effort to believe that it is mine. In the photograph we are both smiling at the camera, holding hands. He is handsome, attractive, and when I look closely I can see that it is the same man I slept with, the one I left in the bed. The word Ben is written beneath it, and next to it Your husband.

I gasp, and rip it off the wall. No, I think. No! It can't be... I scan the rest of the pictures. They are all of me, and him. In one I am wearing an ugly dress and unwrapping a present, in another both of us wear matching weatherproof jackets and stand in front of a waterfall as a small dog sniffs at our feet. Next to it is a picture of me sitting beside him, sipping a glass of orange juice, wearing the dressing gown I have seen in the bedroom next door.

I step back further, until I feel cold tiles against my back. It is then I get the glimmer that I associate with memory. As my mind tries to settle on it, it flutters away, like ashes caught in a breeze, and I realize that in my life there is a then, a before, though before what I cannot say, and there is a now, and there is nothing between the two but a long, silent emptiness that has led me here, to me and him, in this house.

I go back into the bedroom. I still have the picture in my hand - the one of me and the man I had woken up with - and I hold it in front of me.

'What's going on?' I say. I am screaming; tears run down my face. The man is sitting up in bed, his eyes half closed. 'Who are you?'

'I'm your husband,' he says. His face is sleepy, without a trace of annoyance. He does not look at my naked body. 'We've been married for years.'

'What do you mean?' I say. I want to run, but there is nowhere to go. '"Married for years"? What do you mean?' He stands up. 'Here,' he says, and passes me the dressing gown, waiting while I put it on. He is wearing pyjama trousers that are too big for him, a white vest. He reminds me of my father.

'We got married in nineteen eighty-five,' he says. 'Twenty-two years ago. You - '

'What - ?' I feel the blood drain from my face, the room begin to spin. A clock ticks, somewhere in the house, and it sounds as loud as a hammer. 'But - ' He takes a step towards me. 'How - ?'

'Christine, you're forty-seven now,' he says. I look at him, this stranger who is smiling at me. I don't want to believe him, don't want even to hear what he's saying, but he carries on. 'You had an accident,' he says. 'A bad accident. You suffered head injuries. You have problems remembering things.'

  • 1
  • 2

Excerpted from Before I Go To Sleep by S.J. Watson. Copyright © 2011 by S.J. Watson. Excerpted by permission of Harper. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $0 for 0 months or $20 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!

Beyond the Book:
  Amnesia

BookBrowse Book Club

Book Jacket
Lessons in Chemistry
by Bonnie Garmus
Praised by Parade and The New York Times Book Review, this debut features a 1960s scientist turned TV cooking star.

Members Recommend

  • Book Jacket

    Serial Killer Games
    by Kate Posey

    A morbidly funny and emotionally resonant novel about the ways life—and love—can sneak up on us (no matter how much pepper spray we carry).

  • Book Jacket

    The Fairbanks Four
    by Brian Patrick O’Donoghue

    One murder, four guilty convictions, and a community determined to find justice.

  • Book Jacket

    Ginseng Roots
    by Craig Thompson

    A new graphic memoir from the author of Blankets and Habibi about class, childhood labor, and Wisconsin’s ginseng industry.

  • Book Jacket

    The Seven O'Clock Club
    by Amelia Ireland

    Four strangers join an experimental treatment to heal broken hearts in Amelia Ireland's heartfelt debut novel.

  • Book Jacket

    One Death at a Time
    by Abbi Waxman

    A cranky ex-actress and her Gen Z sobriety sponsor team up to solve a murder that could send her back to prison in this dazzling mystery.

Who Said...

To limit the press is to insult a nation; to prohibit reading of certain books is to declare the inhabitants to be ...

Click Here to find out who said this, as well as discovering other famous literary quotes!

Wordplay

Solve this clue:

A C on H S

and be entered to win..

Your guide toexceptional          books

BookBrowse seeks out and recommends the best in contemporary fiction and nonfiction—books that not only engage and entertain but also deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.