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Her Kind of Case


A highly-recommended emotion-filled legal drama with three starred reviews!
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Discuss Her Kind of Case by Jeanne Winer:
Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Created: 05/16/19

Replies: 12

Posted May. 16, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1946

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Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Phil messes up big-time when he attempts to beat up his ex wife's new boyfriend, Bob. He ends up with a black eye, a broken arm, and a suspension from work. Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?


Posted May. 20, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
paulak

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 92

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RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

You betcha - I made more than a few poor relationship choices but at least I did not marry them, thank goodness! But that darn old comfort zone is a dangerous thing - the devil you know and all that. Phil was pushed right over the edge when he thought he and his wife might reconcile and then discovered she had other ideas. As tough as the situation was, I think he came out in a better place, despite the humiliation.


Posted May. 21, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jww

Join Date: 05/31/11

Posts: 163

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RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Indeed! I don't know why it is that we can't see the whole picture when we become attracted to someone. I just thank the powers that be that I didn't end up with some of my attractions.


Posted May. 21, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
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taking.mytime

Join Date: 03/29/16

Posts: 132

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RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

We all seem to try to go back to the 'comfortable', the 'known', over the unknown, even if it is not good for us. No one relishes being alone - at least not for long.

I think the best thing that I ever did for myself was take a 2 year hiatus. Coming out of a very deep loving relationship that worked on so many levels, but sadly did not have the power to last, I put all my energy into other things. I spent two years not dating. I didn't just decide 'ok, for two years I will stay alone". I just kept busy with friends and hobbies, my dog and my family, not worrying about a time frame. It really opened my eyes to what I wanted and what I did not want. And then when I least expected it someone wonderful walked into my life. That hiatus was the best gift I could ever have given myself.


Posted May. 23, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
acstrine

Join Date: 02/06/17

Posts: 157

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RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Oh my yes-and I think this is definitely the risk I take when I ignore my head during decision making. :) And I am very aware of the difference for me at least in my relationships with men vs. women. I have had to walk away from some very toxic female friendships. I had no trouble doing that, but I found myself sort of obsessing over them after the fact- -mostly because I felt guilty for "abandoning" a friend. This typically goes on for a couple of months, and I often find myself completely letting go once I receive "permission" from some third party. Weird, I know.

Toxic relationships with men? When I was younger I was in it until I didn't even recognize who I was any more. I will say that alcohol only adds fuel to the fire. There is no gut, no head making decisions then- -only the alcohol. And I am just so grateful that cell phones and social media were not a thing when I was growing up. I could have easily become a very aggressive texter or a facebook stalker! I'm just so grateful I have learned to respect myself as I've aged!


Posted May. 23, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
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jant

Join Date: 07/15/14

Posts: 26

RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Yes especially when I was young (teens and twenties). I had some warped concepts about love and fighting for relationships. Now, I hope I would realize if it takes that much effort it was probably not a good fit. I didn't have the same experience with friendships - I was more willing to let them go. I had my priorities wrong.
My heart bled for Jeremy and his complicated relationships with his family. His relationship with his God who he saw as disapproving - so painful. He showed a great deal of courage and I am glad it concluded with his freedom.


Posted May. 23, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
scgirl

Join Date: 06/05/18

Posts: 110

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RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Absolutely but with age comes wisdom. Wish I had paid attention to the red flags when I was younger but experiential knowledge while potentially painful is generally the best kind.


Posted May. 24, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
josephinej

Join Date: 05/11/15

Posts: 63

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RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Yes! And I think that's all I'll say.


Posted May. 24, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
nancyh

Join Date: 06/25/13

Posts: 208

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RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

I never tried to save a relationship, although I had some I wished would go further. I am now thankful they did not. I understand why Phil was so upset, his wife led him to believe things were going well. Then she dropped the news she had changed her mind. When Phil found out it was because a new relationship, he lost it. What he did was wrong, but I get it


Posted May. 25, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
cm28015

Join Date: 11/01/15

Posts: 32

RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Of course! Somewhat human nature. We want to be liked and part of the group.


Posted May. 25, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
evelyng

Join Date: 02/07/18

Posts: 22

RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Oh yes, I have made that big, big mistake of trying to save something that wasn't worth the price of the pain attached to it. It took time and the good therapy that life itself brings...but I finally grew up and learned to recognize reality in all it's glory and gore, and appreciate it. Self esteem means so much, especially in a young woman's early years.


Posted May. 26, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
windellh

Join Date: 11/05/17

Posts: 30

RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Who hasn't! This is part of learning who we are and what our emotional needs are. This is where we establish our boundaries through the experience of failure. This is where we can learn from our past and hope for the future.


Posted May. 27, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Amymp

Join Date: 11/30/16

Posts: 11

RE: Have you ever made a mistake trying to save a relationship that, in hindsight, wasn't worth saving?

Yes, and I think most people have. I think it is human nature to try to save something that affects you emotionally, and at least you can say you tried. In hindsight we realize it was a mistake. But that is how we learn...from mistakes.


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