I was an elementary classroom teacher for 20+ years. While I never lost confidence in my abilities, I lost confidence in the system. And that made going to work EVERY SINGLE DAY for my last year incredibly depressing and demoralizing. As a Spanish teacher in a communications magnet school, I began to feel less respect as an educator and for my subject matter. It was not covered on standardized testing, and other teachers, whether knowingly or not, made me feel as if my job was solely to provide them with their much deserved, 45 minute break from "real teaching".
I have always been very passionate about my subject matter and learning new things myself and wanted more than anything for my students to feel the same way. I think careers that involve helping others have more potential for eroding self confidence. Not only are you responsible for yourself, but also the well being, success, and in some cases, the lives of others. As a result, I spent a lot of time reevaluating what I was doing and how I could improve my presentation to reach all students. Lee questioned herself after the courtroom loss, just as I have questioned myself after learning a student didn't not pass a section of a standardized test.