Book Club Discussion Questions and Guide for Among Friends by Hal Ebbott

1. Among Friends centers on the decades-old friendship between two families, their lives intimately intertwined until a shocking act of betrayal tears the fabric of their connection. Author Hal Ebbott offers a meticulous illustration of how such a foundational friendship evolves, and the powers that it holds over the actions of the individuals within it. What is it about Amos and Emerson, when they meet in college, and as they continue together over time, that explains the strength of their bond? Do those qualities make them more or less likely to remain friends over time?
2. The book begins with a quote from Jean Renoir: "The real hell of life is that everyone has their reasons." How do you read this quote in the context of the events of the book? Is it earnest—to understand all is to forgive all— or is it cynical?
3. Discuss the role of humor in Among Friends. Amos and Emerson have a shared language of jokes, traditions, and pranks. Emerson admires Amos's humor, though for Amos, being funny might be a coping strategy: "Here his mind went, scurrying in search of thoughts and tasks, observations and quips... . Look at me, the show was meant to say, how easy, how casual. It was all hope, fearful and empty." How does humor connect the two friends? What does it obscure?
4. In some ways, Emerson and Amos's bond is as much about the past as it is about the present. What is the role of nostalgia for these characters? Does nostalgia conceal as much as it reveals?
5. Many of the novel's relationships are highly implicated in power relations—of gender, class, wealth, and age. How do these relationships present themselves so as to hide these power dynamics? What is Amos's role in participating in them? What is his need?
6. How does Anna's experience and perspective exist within the narrative? What complexity is added when we see the events of the book from her point of view? Why do you think the book chooses not to stay in her perspective later on?
7. How can we understand Claire's attitude toward her daughter? How can we differentiate this from her attitude toward the men in the novel, especially Emerson? What questions about Claire remain unanswered and why?
8. The narrative voice sometimes hints at inevitability, a future not yet known by the characters but understood by the author. For example, Anna carries a sketchbook with thick, expensive pages because "she wasn't ashamed of it yet. She still believed it might play a role in who she'd become." Is there something tragic about the novel—an inexorable working out of a predestined fate? How does this device reflect the other characters and events?
9. Emerson's physicality is described with unique and witty precision: "He entered clothes like opinions, with the graceful assurance of someone who has not questioned their choices." What role does the presence of the idealized male body play in the book? What are the characters' views of aging and beauty?
10. Discuss the role of wealth and class in Among Friends. What is the relationship between money and power? How does wealth strain some relationships and bolster others?
11. What similarities do you see between Anna and her father, Amos? In what ways is Amos more at ease with his daughter than with his wife, Claire? Describe Anna's coping mechanisms. How do they parallel her father's own actions during his youth? What might these parallels mean?
12. Compare the marriages of Retsy and Emerson and Claire and Amos. How are these relationships different, and why do you think that is?
13. What are Claire's and Retsy's roles in the events and betrayals of the book? What does loyalty mean for each of them?
14. Among Friends explores a defining and substantive relationship between two men from different backgrounds. Friendship between men is rarely depicted in contemporary literature. Why do you think that is? How does Among Friends add to or complicate our picture of male friendship?
15. How do you understand the end of the novel? What do you think the future holds for these characters?

Unless otherwise stated, this discussion guide is reprinted with the permission of Riverhead Books. Any page references refer to a USA edition of the book, usually the trade paperback version, and may vary in other editions.