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Book Summary and Reviews of In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man by Tom Junod

In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man by Tom Junod

In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man

A Memoir

by Tom Junod

  • Critics' Consensus (7):
  • Published:
  • Mar 2026, 416 pages
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About this book

Book Summary

From two-time National Magazine Award winner Tom Junod, a searching, brilliantly stylized memoir about a charismatic, philandering father who tried to mold his son in his image, the many secrets he hid, the son's obsessive quest to uncover them, and ultimately, the true meaning of manhood.

Big Lou Junod dominated every room he entered. He worshipped the sun and the sea, his own bronzed body, Frank Sinatra, and beautiful women. He was a successful traveling handbag salesman who carried himself like a celebrity. He'd return from the road with stories of going to nightclubs where the stars—Ava Gardner, maybe Liz Taylor—"couldn't keep their eyes off ... your father." He had countless affairs and didn't do much to hide them.

Lou could be cruel to Fran, his wife of fifty-nine years, but he loved his youngest son. Tom was a skin-and-bones, nervous boy, devoted to his mother, but Lou sought to turn him into a version of himself. He showered him with advice about how to dress ("A turtleneck is the most flattering thing a man can wear"), how to be an alpha male, and especially, how to attract and bed women. His parting speech when Tom went to college was: "Do yourself a favor and date a Jewish girl. They're all nymphos." When Tom started seeing his future wife, Janet, Lou's efforts to entice Tom into his version of manhood accelerated on nights in New York, L.A., and Paris.

Tom wrestled with Lou's imposing presence all his life. When one of Lou's mistresses stood up at his funeral and announced, "Can we all ... just agree ... that this ... was a man," Tom set off to learn the facts of his father's life, and why he was the way he was. The stunning secrets he uncovered—about his father, his father's lovers, and deceptions going back generations—staggered Tom, but in the process allowed him, at last, to become his own man, by his own lights.

In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man is an intensely emotional detective story powered by a series of cascading revelations. The book is a triumph of bravura writing; it is a tale of a son reckoning with the consequences of his father's life, and in the end, the story of the son's redemption.

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Reviews

Media Reviews

"An enthralling family memoir and an unromantic commentary on manhood." —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"Though the pacing sags a bit in the middle, this is a gripping study of a larger-than-life personality that doubles as a sensitive self-portrait. It's a winner." —Publishers Weekly

"Staggering...With an astonishing subject and rare skill, Junod takes a question we all have to its outermost limit: Who are our parents, really? Junod writes that he 'became a writer in order to write this book,' and that is felt in his steady hand, elegant prose, and dogged, dizzying hunt for every kernel of truth." —Booklist

"Tom Junod's long-awaited memoir is a brilliant addition to the literature of fathers and sons, a gorgeously written, unexpectedly suspenseful saga that somehow navigates the agonizing paradox at its core: I am my father's son, Junod declares proudly, and yet I'm also very much not my father's son. The squaring of that paradox—in Junod's reporting, in his heart—makes for a haunting, unforgettable read." —J.R. Moehringer, New York Times bestselling author of The Tender Bar

"There is no question that Tom Junod has mastered the art of looking outside himself. But here he startles with a propulsive, emotional look inward, an intense examination of his charismatic, maddening father and, ultimately, of himself. The result is deep and brooding, a beautifully rendered portrait of family, masculinity, and what it means to find your own way in the world." —Susan Orlean, New York Times bestselling author of The Orchid Thief and Joyride

This information about In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man was first featured in "The BookBrowse Review" - BookBrowse's membership magazine, and in our weekly "Publishing This Week" newsletter. Publication information is for the USA, and (unless stated otherwise) represents the first print edition. The reviews are necessarily limited to those that were available to us ahead of publication. If you are the publisher or author and feel that they do not properly reflect the range of media opinion now available, send us a message with the mainstream reviews that you would like to see added.

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Author Information

Tom Junod

Tom Junod is senior writer for ESPN, where his work has won an Emmy and the Dan Jenkins Medal for Excellence in Sportswriting. He is a two-time winner of the National Magazine Award for Feature Writing, and a winner of the James Beard Award for essay writing. Previously he was a staff writer at GQ and Esquire. The film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood was based on his article in Esquire. He lives in Atlanta with his wife and daughter.

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