A Novel
by Ryan Effgen
Sandwich meets The Wedding People in this irresistible comedy of manners as three generations of a family—a snail scientist, a soon-to-be divorcée, her teenage daughter, a hapless con man, and their feckless patriarch—descend on a ritzy Lake Michigan vacation island.
When the Pickford siblings arrive at The Grand Hotel—a nostalgic tourist paradise of horse-drawn carriages, muddled cocktails, and white sweaters on the tennis court—they have every intention of spending the long weekend making nice. Pete, the nation's foremost expert on gastropods (mollusks), is keen to wade around the lake in search of a rare and exciting Carthusian snail. Viv, reeling from the secret revelation that her husband is gay, is determined to put on a brave face for her daughter. And Corey, a charming, handsome grifter, has lucked into five pounds of cocaine he plans to sell to the first dumb rich guy he can find.
But when Pete falls for the alluring mother of a local kid, when Viv's daughter gets up to teenage trouble, and when Corey finds the wealthy guests less interested in party drugs than golf clubs and waffle cones, the long weekend of family bonding veers into disaster. Why did their father bring them to this cushy island resort in the first place? And why does Corey, the biggest screw-up of them all, seem to be the only one who knows the truth? As secrets spill, old flames are fanned, and an innocent snail is crushed beneath the unrelenting heel of a hiking boot. In a story that is as sneakily wise as it is absurdly funny, Ryan Effgen's debut shows how sometimes the people who bring out your worst—your family—can also be the ones to bring you out of your shell.
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Any "Author Information" displayed below reflects the author's biography at the time this particular book was published.
Ryan Effgen's fiction has appeared in Best New American Voices, Fiction Magazine, Painted Bride Quarterly, and elsewhere. He has earned creative writing fellowships from the Virginia Commission for the Arts and George Mason University. He works as an instructional designer and lives in Virginia with his wife and children.

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