Beyond the Book

This article relates to Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads

Some useful tips from Rosalind Wiseman (more at The Seattle Times):

• If you have a problem with a parent, teacher etc, speak one-on-one first because challenging someone's authority in front of others is likely to backfire.
• Avoid inflammatory words. E.g. trade "acknowledge" for "apologize."
• Be wary of "advocates" - however strongly a parent may feel about his/her child's cause it doesn't warrant uncivil behavior.
• Don't promise you won't get involved. It's usually best to give kids a chance to resolve issues on their own, but with adult support.
• Step in if you see a pattern of unfairness or disrespect. But in most cases, let kids work out grades with teachers.
• Gather information first. There are always two sides to a story!
• Don't go above someone's head until you and your child have tried addressing the issue.
• Don't make friendship the goal. If you speak with other parents about the way their child is treating yours, be clear that you aren't saying the kids have to stay friends.

Also of interest:

• The transcript of an online conversation with Wiseman at The Washington Post.
• Rosalind Wiseman's website.

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This "beyond the book article" relates to Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads. It originally ran in May 2006 and has been updated for the February 2007 paperback edition. Go to magazine.

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