Excerpt from Raising Resilient Children by Drs. Brooks & Goldstein, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

Summary |  Excerpt |  Reviews |  Readalikes |  Genres & Themes |  Author Bio

Raising Resilient Children

Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child

by Drs. Brooks & Goldstein

Raising Resilient Children
  • Critics' Opinion:

    Readers' Opinion:

     Not Yet Rated
  • First Published:
    Apr 2001, 320 pages
    Paperback:
    Oct 2002, 336 pages

  • Rate this book


Buy This Book

About this Book

Print Excerpt


Before proceeding, we would be remiss if we did not note that questions have been raised recently about the importance of parents in influencing their children's lives. Many parents may not appreciate how different each child is at birth and, thus, may assume more responsibility for their children's success and more blame for their children's failure than is warranted. We believe, however, that even given these innate and environmental differences, parents play a major role in their children's development. More than fifty years of research with parents and children, not only of our species but also of others such as monkeys, has consistently demonstrated the powerful role that parents play in nurturing and shaping the behavior and attitudes of their offspring.

In fact, nearly fifty years ago, experimental psychologist Harry Harlow demonstrated that although infants require sustenance, if given the choice, they choose maternal contact and comfort, not only when stressed but even when hungry. Further, a recent review of parenting research concluded that "the expression of heritable traits depends, often strongly, on experience including specific parental behaviors" (Collins, Maccoby, et al. 2000, 228). However, as will be discussed, it is essential that we understand the parameters of our influence so that we can set realistic goals and expectations for ourselves and our children.

To understand the mindset of a parent capable of developing and reinforcing resiliency in children, we must also understand the mindset or perspective of a resilient child. We must ask what are the major characteristics, skills, and abilities that contribute to a child's resilience, to a child's perceiving the future in a hopeful, confident manner. In grasping the mindset of a resilient child, we gain an invaluable source of information to guide our parenting practices as we attempt to reinforce the components of this mindset in our children. This introductory chapter briefly describes the mindset of the resilient child and the parent who fosters resilience. This grounding will help you to understand what can be done in the parenting process to nurture these features. Subsequent chapters specify strategies for reinforcing resilience.



The Mindset of a Resilient Child

Resilient children possess certain qualities and/or ways of viewing themselves and the world that are not apparent in youngsters who have not been successful in meeting challenges and pressures. Resilient youngsters are able to translate this view, or mindset, into effective action. Resilient children are also hopeful and possess high self-worth. What contributes to this sense of hopefulness and self-worth?

Resilient youngsters feel special and appreciated. They have learned to set realistic goals and expectations for themselves. They have developed the ability to solve problems and make decisions and thus are more likely to view mistakes, hardships, and obstacles as challenges to confront rather than as stressors to avoid. They rely on productive coping strategies that are growth-fostering rather than self-defeating. They are aware of their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, but they also recognize their strong points and talents. Their self-concept is filled with images of strength and competence. They have developed effective interpersonal skills with peers and adults alike. They are able to seek out assistance and nurturance in a comfortable, appropriate manner from adults who can provide the support they need. Finally, they are able to define the aspects of their lives over which they have control and to focus their energy and attention on these rather than on factors over which they have little, if any, influence.

Developing a resilient mindset is what we would hope for all children. A resilient child is an emotionally healthy child, equipped to successfully confront challenges and bounce back from setbacks. In a sense, the child just described is a "product"; it is how we would like our children to turn out, how we would like our children to view themselves and others. How do we use every situation, every interaction we have with our children as part of a process to reinforce this product? How do we develop an approach that continually works to strengthen a child's resilience?

Copyright © 2001 Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein

Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" backstories
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $10 for 3 months or $35 for a year
  • More about membership!
Member Benefits

Join Now!

Check the advantages!
Just $10 for 3 months or $35 for a year

    •  
    • FREE
    • MEMBER
    • Range of media reviews for each book
    • Excerpts of all featured books
    • Author bios, interviews and pronunciations
    • Browse by genre
    • Book club discussions
    • Book club advice and reading guides
    • BookBrowse reviews and "beyond the book" back-stories
    •  
    • Reviews of notable books ahead of publication
    •  
    • Free books to read and review (US Only)
    •  
    • Browse for the best books by time period, setting & theme
    •  
    • Read-alike suggestions for thousands of books and authors
    •  
    • 'My Reading List" to keep track of your books
    •  

Editor's Choice

  • Book Jacket: A Certain Age
    A Certain Age
    by Beatriz Williams
    Lovers of high-society gossip, there's a new set of players in town. A good 20 out of 23 of our...
  • Book Jacket: The Romanovs
    The Romanovs
    by Simon Sebag Montefiore
    The Romanovs chronicles the reigns of the 20 individuals who were considered members of that dynasty...
  • Book Jacket: Barkskins
    Barkskins
    by Annie Proulx
    Barkskins, by Annie Proulx, is not a book to read quickly. After a month of slow reading, I ...

First Impressions

  • Book Jacket

    The Imperial Wife
    by Irina Reyn

    A smart, engaging novel that parallels two fascinating worlds and two singular women.

    Read Member Reviews

  • Book Jacket

    Falling
    by Jane Green

    "Readers who enjoy a love story with heart will adore this tale of homecoming and transformation." - LJ

    Read Member Reviews

Members review books pre-publication. Read their opinions in First Impressions

Book Discussions
Book Jacket
Girl Waits with Gun
by Amy Stewart

An enthralling novel based on the forgotten true adventures of one of the nation's first female deputy sheriffs.

About the book
Join the discussion!
Summer Stunner
Summer Giveaway

Win 5 books, each week in July!

Enter

Word Play

Solve this clue:

W M T N, W C F All

and be entered to win..

Books that     
entertain,
     engage

 & enlighten

Visitors can view some of BookBrowse for free. Full access is for members only.

Join Today!

Your guide toexceptional          books

BookBrowse seeks out and recommends books that we believe to be best in class. Books that will whisk you to faraway places and times, that will expand your mind and challenge you -- the kinds of books you just can't wait to tell your friends about.

 
X

BookBrowse Summer Giveaway

We're giving away
5 books every
week in July!