Excerpt from Tribunal by Nancy Hersage, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

"They have done this just like the army," Enrique said. "Do you notice that, Nita? This Okano is a very good businessman, if you ask me -- very efficient." The children were finally asleep, curled up in Nita's arms on the mat where the family slept. The dancing group was scheduled to depart from the airport in the morning. Enrique was propped up beside her on his elbow, rubbing her shoulders with his free hand. "Finding this job has been very lucky. A gift from heaven."

"Or from Martin," Nita teased.

"Yes, well, I've thanked him, Nita. And you can be sure he feels very important about the whole thing."

Enrique began to caress her shoulders with his lips. He was happy again, happy like the time when they were first married. This was the best home they'd ever had. There was no mud here, no misery for which he could be held responsible. That was always when he loved her most.

Nita did not want to be loved by Enrique tonight. And she did not want to be grateful to heaven or to Martin. Italy loomed in her mind like a land of exile, a place where she had no right to be. Not now -- not when Letty was so weak, not while Carlos was too young for school. Think of how they would grow in three months, how they might change. Think of what could happen to one of them.

"I don't want to go," she whispered.

"No one will forget you," Enrique replied, pulling her over to face him, slipping his warm hands across her back and feeling the tension there. He closed his eyes, and moved his body into hers. "You will be gone and you will be back. Nothing will change."

She closed her eyes and tried to lose herself in the motion of his rocking. He laid his head on her breast and searched with his tongue for the nipple. But she didn't care. She could think only of her babies, and of the moment tomorrow morning when she would leave them. Her husband's hands gripped her shoulders, pressing her into him as the rhythm grew more intense. But already she was floating over miles of ocean, drowning in a sea of strangers.

"I'm frightened, Enrique."

He was as lost as she was and couldn't hear her. She felt his heart pounding in his chest and his breath pounding in her ear. He pushed against her, again and again, with every muscle in his body, until she wanted to reach out and stop him. Then he stiffened, almost like death -- without a heartbeat, without breath, his back arched like a great flying fish. He had reached the place where nothing could reach him. Another instant and he trembled, finally finding the release he was after.

For a moment Enrique lay there and held her. His skin was oddly soft, like the children's. It occurred to her that their bodies now fitted together in a way they had not before. She wanted to tell him that, and to say she longed to push her body into his, too, again and again. She wanted to reach that one glorious moment when everything inside her stiffened and died and she was beyond reach. She longed to fall asleep with skin as soft as a child. But Enrique fell asleep without asking Nita what she longed for, and Nita never told him.

There was nothing left to do but wait for the darkness to slip away. Nita could not slow this last night any more than she had been able to slow the last two weeks. Time went on without her. She lay with her eyes open, watching Letty and Carlos. In the final moments before dawn, she reached out her hands and wrapped her fingers around theirs, feeling the flesh of their tiny fists against her palms.

Tomas sent a cab for her which arrived at 5:30 am. Enrique carried out her new bag, along with one she had packed with her own things. She did not wake the children. She couldn't or she would never leave. Instead, she stood at the door watching them and letting the ache inside her chest spread over her body until her eyes burned and it hurt to breathe. For a long moment she did not move. Her heart contracted and froze. She felt as if she was suspended in purgatory and that -- except for Letty and Carlos -- the life within her might never expand again. Then on a very damp, salty Pacific morning, Nita Pangil defied the pull of everything she loved most and turned away, leaving her own children without even saying good-bye.

Copyright Nancy Hersage 2000. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher or author.