Excerpt from All Fours by Miranda July, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

Now he touched two fingers to his forehead and I did the same, relieved. We'd done this saluting thing the first time we ever laid eyes on each other and across many crowded rooms ever since. There you are. He didn't look away. Dancers kept moving between us, but he held on for a moment longer, we both did. I smiled a little but this wasn't really about happiness; it hit below fleeting feelings. At this slight remove all our formality falls away, revealing a mutual and steadfast devotion so tender I could have cried right there on the dance floor. Sure, he's good looking, unflappable, insightful, but none of that would mean anything without this strange, almost pious, loyalty between us. Now we both knew to turn away. Other couples might have crossed the room toward each other and kissed, but we understood the feeling would disappear if we got too close. It's some kind of Greek tragedy, us, but not all told.

I wandered off the dance floor and into the master bathroom, washing my hands with the host's facial cleanser. Of course it wasn't too late to switch from Parker to Driver – anyone with a driver's license could drive across the country. I could see myself pulling up in to the driveway with dusty tires, Sam running to greet me and Harris just standing in the doorway. He'd salute and I'd salute, but this time I'd walk into his arms, knowing I was finally home in a way I'd never been before.

By morning the idea had taken hold. Why fly to New York when I could drive and finally become the sort of chill, grounded woman I'd always wanted to be? This could be the turning point of my life. If I lived to be ninety I was halfway through. Or if you thought of it as two lives, then I was at the very start of my second life. I imagined a vision quest – style journey involving a cave, a cliff, a crystal, maybe a labyrinth and a golden ring.

'I've driven across the country,' said Jordi. 'It's not that great.'

'It's not supposed to be! Is a silent meditation retreat "great"? Do people hike the Pacific Crest Trail because it's "great"? And this is even higher stakes because if my mind wanders too far I'll crash and die.'

'Oh god, don't say that.'

'But my mind won't wander! I'll be totally present all the way there and all the way back. And for the rest of my life I'll tell people about this cross country drive I did when I was forty five. That's when I finally learned to just be myself.'

Of course I was always myself with Jordi; she knew I meant be myself at home. All the time.

Excerpted from All Fours by Miranda July. Copyright © 2024 by Miranda July. Excerpted by permission of Riverhead Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.