Excerpt from A Monk Swimming by Malachy McCourt, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

Myrmidonish sort of laddie that I was, I assented, and off we strolled to the gym to view said mats. On the way there, George said that he was living here now, as it was a very safe place from Jews. Jesus, here we go again. But I hadn't had the dinner yet. Or seen the new mats.

We stepped into the gym, which was bereft of human beings, and George said, "There they are!" with a wave toward the pile of mats.

I said something brilliant, like, "Very nice." A glance then at good old George showed me that the face of the madman had emerged again--the blazing eyes, the foam, etc.--and a choked voice told me that I had fucked a Jew whore and told her I was George Giles Green and now she was pregnant and demanding money from him. I, of course, said I hadn't, a weak statement, I'll admit, but the best I could muster at the mo'. George paid no attention to the denial, which, I suppose, should not have come as a surprise.

Though not in the best of physical form, he was capable of moving with celerity, in this case unleashing an uppercut that would have pleased Mr. M. Ali of fisticuffs fame, had he dispatched it. It landed a couple of degrees west of the chin, on the jawline. I found myself inspecting the new wrestling mat more closely than I had intended when George extended the invite to view them.

When the head cleared, I was alone, face down, Georgeless once more. George had fled the premi. I departed the N.Y.A.C., dinnerless and with a very sore jaw. The last I heard of George, he was in a safe place, attended by white-garbed folk. He was most agreeable in their company, as he thought they were off-duty members of the K.K.K.

The lesson learned then, and revisited over the years, was that all anti-Semites, and bigots as a general class, are either sick or stupid. Ah, I thought, as this obvious bit of sociology dawned on me, aren't I the clever little immigrant to have figured that out?

(C) 1998 Malachy McCourt All rights reserved.