Hes a loser.
Youre on your own with that one, Morelli said. Are you going to need help with this?
Maybe you need . . . vitamins, I said to Pickle.
Pickle looked at me. Hopeful. Do you think that could be it?
Yeah. If you get off the railing we could go to the health food store and get some.
Youre just saying t hat to get me off the railing.
True. When you get off the railing, t he police will probably arrest you for being a nut. Youll have to go to the station and wait for Vinnie to get there to bond you out again. I cant afford to get bonded out again. I just walked off my job. Im probably unemployed.
Oh for the love of everything holy. I peeked at my watch. I didnt have time for this. I had other fish to fry. How about this. We need someone to do filing at the bonds office. Maybe I can get Vinnie to hire you so you can work off the fee to get bonded out.
Really? Youd do t hat for me?
Morelli was still listening in. Okay, so far weve promised him community service, vitamins, and a job. The only thing left that he could possibly want is gorilla sex. And if you promise that to him Im not going to be happy.
I disconnected Morelli and put the phone back into my pocket.
About the job, Pickle said. Vinnie wouldnt mind that Im a . . . you know, pervert?
That was pretty funny. Vinnie minding that Pickle whacked off at the multiplex. Its probably the only thing you have going for you, I told Pickle.
Okay, he said. But youre going to have to help me get off t his railing. Im terrified to move.
I grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him off the railing, and we both collapsed into a heap on the floor. The crowd reaction was mixed. Some cheers and some boos.
We got to our feet, and I cuffed his hands behind his back and led him to the elevator.
Excerpted from Twelve Sharp, copyright (c) 2006, Janet Ivanovich. Reproduced with permission of the publisher, St. Martin's Press. All rights reserved.
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No Man's Land
by Simon Tolkien
Inspired by the experiences of his grandfather, J. R. R. Tolkien, during World War I.
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