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by River Selby

BookBrowse Review

Author River Selby was just 19 years old and at loose ends when a friend convinced them to apply for a job as a wildland firefighter. For the next seven years, they spent their summers on fire crews throughout the western United States: two years as a contract firefighter responsible for mopping up after an area burned through, four years as a hotshot (an elite firefighter who works in direct contact with active fires), and one year as part of a helicopter crew. Hotshot: A Life on Fire is a memoir of Selby's experiences from that part of their life, both on and off the fire line.

Selby's writing throughout is beautiful and engaging. Their first fire was the massive Viveash fire, near Pecos, New Mexico, in May and June 2000. More than a thousand firefighters and other personnel were assigned to put out a conflagration that started when a prescribed burn (one set deliberately to reduce flammable materials in the understory) got out of control. Selby describes their first experience of a burned area:

"The land around us was completely scorched; I’d seen nothing like it before. Bare, blackened trees with pointed, spindly limbs and black soil that felt strange underfoot, both spongy and brittle. The air smelled sweet and repellent, like a puttering campfire. Each footstep sent up clouds of dust and ash, coating everything, including my mouth and teeth, in fine grit, blackening my snot and saliva."

Selby's numerous close calls certainly send the reader’s pulse pounding, but their descriptions also emphasize the grime and drudgery that make up the bulk of a wildland firefighter's routine. They were often dispatched to a blaze for weeks at a time with little respite, sleeping on the ground, eating MREs, and remaining sweat- and soot-stained for the length of their deployment. They clearly illustrate that firefighting is far from glamorous work.

In addition to their personal experience of this life, Selby also discusses how fire suppression policies, combined with climate change, have caused fires to burn hotter and larger. For example, invasive species such as cheat grass are the first to move into the terrain created by current suppression techniques. This grass then dies early in the season, creating an enormous amount of fuel that wouldn't otherwise be present. They also write at length about how effectively Native nations managed the land, using fire as a tool to increase a forest's health, and how disruptive the arrival of European colonizers was to not only the peoples here but the environment as well. They delve into the histories of the Forest Service and forest fire management, as well as that of some of the larger burns that have impacted California in particular. One of the book's highlights is the author's ability to weave all this information into their narrative without allowing it to overwhelm or detract from their own story.

Selby's unflinching honesty also sets this memoir apart; they don't shy away from admitting to a life riddled with trauma. "I had been a tween and teenage runaway," they write, "a sex worker, and a survivor of violence." They were raped multiple times in their youth, abused drugs and alcohol, and struggled with bulimia. Even as part of the crew, they recount the many nights spent drinking heavily and sleeping with people they barely knew. When the author was part of the hotshot crew they identified as female, and as such they were subjected to levels of sexual harassment that most would consider completely unacceptable. They knew that to file a claim with HR would effectively end their employment, however, so they tolerated it until pushed to the breaking point. Merely threatening to report a fellow firefighter’s behavior caused enough negative reaction from the rest of the crew that they ultimately quit.

When not on a fire crew, much of Selby's energy was spent trying (and failing) to help their abusive, alcoholic mother live a less chaotic life. These chapters are at least as harrowing as the tensest scenes with the fire crew. The author realistically depicts their struggle to come to terms with the harm their mother has inflicted on them, although even at the book’s end one senses they continue to grapple with the long-term impacts of emotional abuse.

Hotshot reminded me in many ways of Cheryl Strayed's memoir, Wild, and I suspect fans of that book will enjoy this one as well. Like Wild, Hotshot depicts a vulnerable person at a crossroads in their life who takes on an incredibly difficult physical challenge. Selby's work is well-written, entertaining, and educational, and I highly recommend it for most audiences.

Book reviewed by Kim Kovacs

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