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For Today I Am a Boy
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Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Created: 05/27/15

Replies: 17

Posted May. 27, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1318

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Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Peter's father desperately wanted a son. Why do you think that was? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?


Posted May. 31, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
tracyd

Join Date: 05/31/15

Posts: 30

RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

As much as Peter's father distanced himself from his own past, his desire for a son was very. But was that cultural or generational? The necessity of a male child in the Chinese culture would probably be one of the only customs he couldn't ignore.


Posted May. 31, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 212

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

As much as Peter's father wished to feel and see himself growing into this "new" life he so wished, he could not move beyond his cultural background. In his culture it was important for a family's name to be carried on, for the son to carry out the wishes of the father and even the grandfather. This is true of many cultures. In Afghanistan a woman who cannot produce a boy is often punished for not trying hard enough. In many cultures a boy is looked upon as a good fortune, while a girl is considered an added burden.


Posted Jun. 01, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianec

Join Date: 03/15/12

Posts: 21

RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

I was married to a man from India, and we were expecting our first child. This was (thankfully) before ultrasounds had advanced enough to see the sex of the child in the womb. My husband was adamant that the child would be a boy. He had all kinds of suggestions, sleep on a particular side, eat raw almonds, that would make the child male. The baby, of course, was a girl.

Nevertheless, my husband called my family to announce that, "One baby boy was born!" He called back later with a correction, completely confusing everyone.

To his way of thinking, the first child should be a boy. To have a girl meant that he was weak in some way - psychologically, biologically - I never quite understood. But he did (and still does) love that girl!


Posted Jun. 01, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Retired Reader, NE

Join Date: 09/16/11

Posts: 165

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Having a son is a core desire in the Chinese culture. However, sons seem to be preferred in India, the Middle East, and even Israel.


Posted Jun. 01, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
janeh

Join Date: 06/15/11

Posts: 158

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

I do think Chinese culture dictates a son is the ultimate to achieve. I do not think this is a "thing" in American culture. Dads still secretly want a boy to toss around a ball and Moms still want a daughter to share all her secrets, but I think today we are all ultimately just grateful for healthy happy children.


Posted Jun. 01, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
deeh

Join Date: 03/03/12

Posts: 158

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

I have never understood the importance of producing a male child first. I know that it is very important in several cultures and probably goes back to our hunter-gatherer period where males were the primary hunters in our tribes or clans. Happily, this bias isn't as strong in our culture as it once was.


Posted Jun. 07, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lindaj

Join Date: 03/18/14

Posts: 20

RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

I think many, if not most, men want a son. In our culture, I don't think it's the be all and end in most marriages. I think it's more important in Eastern cultures, from what I've read.


Posted Jun. 08, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 212

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

In many cultures having a son is of great importance; more than important it is a necessity. An excellent book that will shock and amaze you is "The Underground Girls of Kabul" by Jenny Nordberg.


Posted Jun. 08, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1318

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Following on from Renee's comment - we'll be discussing The Underground Girls starting July 14, to coincide with the paperback release (it published in hardcover last year.) All are welcome to join the discussion. More about the book: https://www.bookbrowse.com/reviews/index.cfm/book_number/3123/the-underground-girls-of-kabul


Posted Jun. 08, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marganna

Join Date: 10/14/11

Posts: 90

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

This isn't surprising to me. Many cultures value male children over female & wish for a son if not out loud, then silently. Some cultures have limited families to one child which makes the carrying on of the family name of most importance.


Posted Jun. 10, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
beverlyj

Join Date: 12/22/11

Posts: 49

RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Beside the cultural aspects already mentioned, having a son helps ensure that a family will be continued.
And while some cultures are more vocal about the importance of having a son, I think that is many ways exists in most societies.
It has definitely improved over the years but that is often a relation of women's rights.


Posted Jun. 10, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianes

Join Date: 05/16/11

Posts: 64

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

I agree, it is prominent in other cultures more so than in the states, especially important in the Jewish culture even here. But all men want a son, to carry on their name.


Posted Jun. 10, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
mariannes

Join Date: 12/17/12

Posts: 206

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Some religions think people need a son to say the prayers necessary to get them into heaven, or so I've read.
Many cultures are very male oriented overall. Some cultures still have the parents of a daughter paying the groom's family a dowry to take her. Girls aren't seen as having any intrinsic value. I also think a lot of men think it's a sign of their virility to produce a male. I think this pride is what motivates Peter's father.


Posted Jun. 10, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 279

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Heck, my favorite uncle (of Hungarian stock) and his wife were determined to have a son. After four girls... they quit. :) So, I do think that it's still important in some cultures and in some families.

Someone else mentioned The Underground Girls of Kabul - very interesting study on the gender question in some Islamic societies and definitely worth reading.


Posted Jun. 11, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
mal

Join Date: 09/09/13

Posts: 155

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Males are revered. Plenty of cultures place importance upon siring males. My family is concerned on birthing healthy children sex unimportant.


Posted Jun. 14, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
elizabethl

Join Date: 06/19/13

Posts: 12

RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

Years ago, reading a book about infertility, the author/doctor said that most US couples preferred a daughter. Especially if they thought they could have only one child.


Posted Jun. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kathleenb

Join Date: 09/14/12

Posts: 72

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RE: Why do you think Peter's father was so desparate for a son? Do you know of other cultures where it's important to produce sons? Do you find that bias exists in your own culture or family?

As many people mentioned Eastern cultures seem to be intent on having a male child. I have never heard that was a thing in Jewish families it surprises me because the faith is passed down through the mothers side of the family. I would think that would make being a female more desirable. My son in law was on a mission to have a boy. They had two girls 10 and 8 and my daughter went through years of trying to get pregnant and finally went the fertility route. She had a boy and a girl. He favors the boy so much it is painful to watch.


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