'Maybe, I think, this is what love is.' There are several varieties of love portrayed in the book: passionate affairs, marriage, parental love. Which relationships would you call real love?
Created: 05/07/15
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Join Date: 10/15/10
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'Maybe, I think, this is what love is.' There are several varieties of love portrayed in the book: passionate affairs, marriage, parental love. Which relationships would you call real love?
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I'm in agreement to prior responses. I think love is subjective from person to person, even more so when comparing (for example) love between like people. For instance, the love of a mother and father to their child. Each parent loves the child but who can say which is the "real love". I think love is manifested in many ways, especially in the way that we love someone because of how they make us feel about ourselves. It's like everything else, we can read all the reviews we want (of books, movies, wines, restaurants) but it is how it makes us feel that deepens the relationship, regardless of the opinions of anyone else.
Join Date: 09/16/11
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Yes, all love is love. Parental love is instantaneous and a true, all consuming love. Passionate love comes from desire & satisfaction, where the love in a marriage comes from living life & making the journey together. I feel, I saw all of these loves in this novel.
Join Date: 02/25/14
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Join Date: 05/14/15
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None of the relationships really seemed like "real" love, they are were a little off: Betsy and Arthur (about position), Betsy and Russell (fairy tale), Betsy and Ethan (super intense and kinda creepy, on her end), Arthur and Ethan (no common ground, hatred)...as a mother of 4, situations like this make me cringe bc none of us knows our own future with our children. What if we never truly bond with them? What if they hate us in the end? Or each other? Or the other parent? Holy cow.
Join Date: 10/20/10
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Although love between two people may seem to be a pure emotion, part of how each of us 'loves' another is learned. I think Arthur never received unconditional love from his parents and so did not know how to love his own son unconditionally. His love for Elizabeth seemed to be based on sexual attraction and control which is not the kind of self-giving romantic love that we envision between a husband and wife.
Join Date: 10/10/11
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I think flute4u raises a good point. People understand love in very different ways based on what they've seen modeled for them, their own personal needs and fears, and how they've been raised. It's possible that the most successful relationships are between two people who know themselves and their own motivations at a deep level.
Join Date: 10/15/14
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I agree completely with flute4u - Arthur's parents did not seem to unconditionally accept and love him - the love there seemed surface and the appearance of it was what seemed important. This does, I believe, truly affect how we love as we move on and away from our homes. How could Arthur love deeply and successfully when he had no model or example for this? I am not at all certain that all love is love - it may have the appearance of love but deep, abiding love is rarer than perhaps we know.
Join Date: 04/15/12
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They are all real to the person who is loving. While expressed differently, they are all manifestations of ourselves. The love we receive from our parents guides us in our future relationships and we model ourselves on our initial experiences of giving and receiving love. When that love relationship is healthy, we have a greater chance of developing good loving relationships ourselves. If it is selfish or controlling, we are more likely to be damaged. But I believe that role models other than parents can overcome damaged childhoods.
Join Date: 05/21/15
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Each type of love has its own reality. I think the deepest love is found in a good marriage. You go through a great deal when married to someone for many years....hardships, successes, children, illness, etc.
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