Falk thinks to himself, "Families can forgive. But it wasn't enough to mean it; you had to live it." What do you think he means?

Falk thinks to himself, "Families can forgive. But it wasn't enough to mean it; you had to live it." What do you think he means? Do you agree or disagree? Why?

If you truly want forgiveness you alter the behavior that needs forgiving.

To me it meant that saying you forgive someone or learning that someone has forgiven you is not where forgiveness ends. A person needs to pay it forward and not keep repeating the behavior that needs forgiveness.

The responses above are an interesting take on the question. I read it as while I can forgive you, I must show that forgiveness in my actions. I took the question from the view of the person forgiving because for me that is sometimes the harder part - being the wronged person and generously and ACTIVELY forgiving the person who has wronged you.

I felt it was a paraphrasing of the old adage--actions speak louder than words--on both the part of the forgiver and the one atoning.

I think Falk meant that words didn't mean much, actions meant more. He felt his father's aloofness was proof that he didn't care. In return, Falk didn't respond to his father's invitations to hike— which would have been an opening to healing through shared actions.

Like others, I also felt that it was about action. I also felt it meant that you have to forgive yourself and to do that you cannot dwell on the past, the guilt, regrets, and the if only. Like others said it not easy.
This was one of the hardest to answer for personal reasons.

I believe Falk realizes that words can sometimes comes easier than the day to day process of committing to those words. I think Falk has spent some time coming to terms with the complicated relationship he had with his father. I agree with others who posted this was a hard question to answer-especially if you relate it to your own life. We must sometimes begin this inner journey by accepting and forgiving ourselves-the only person we ever have any control over.

You can’t just say you forgive someone and think you mean it, you have to show that person or family members by your actions that you have forgiven them.