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The Secrets of Midwives
A story that will hold you captivated until the very end.
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In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

Created: 12/26/15

Replies: 15

Posted Dec. 26, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1318

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In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

When Neva watches Grace hold Mietta as they are about to leave the hospital she observes that, "They were connected by so much more than a gaze. I would have said it was a biological pull, but now, thinking of Gran, I wasn't so sure." In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?


Posted Jan. 01, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
deeh

Join Date: 03/03/12

Posts: 158

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

I have heard "home" described as the place where if you show up they have to take you in. Families are a lot like that, they accept you unconditionally, warts and all. We have several friends that I consider to be "family." Just like blood kin, no matter what they do, they are still part of my life. I may not like what they do, but I love the person who committed the act.


Posted Jan. 01, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Maggie

Join Date: 01/01/16

Posts: 75

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

Love defines a family. Whether the family consists of biological children or children you have adopted love, caring for them, respecting them. You do not need to give birth to a child to be their loving, wonderful parent.


Posted Jan. 01, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dorothyh

Join Date: 01/23/15

Posts: 60

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

Family is those that live together and be there for one another. Can be related by blood or not.


Posted Jan. 02, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 279

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

I've had a difficult relationship with my birth family, but I've found real love and acceptance with the "family" I've formed with various (non-related) people over the years. I think it therefore can be more about bonds than blood.

It makes me wonder if the idea of family has changed over the past 100 years? It seems to me that "blood" used to be a lot more binding than it is now. Or maybe that's my own situation! LOL! What do others think, has the definition of "family" blurred over the past few generations? Does "blood" still command as much loyalty as it used to?


Posted Jan. 03, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
rosemarys

Join Date: 05/29/11

Posts: 24

RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

I think kimk has an interesting point-I think our definition of family has changed over the years and the blood connection is not as important as it was years ago. As a first generation American, I wonder if it has to do with immigrants needing/wanting to stick together to keep their old traditions and cultures alive. As we assimilate we no longer have that strong need to keep within our own groups and blood relatives.

In this book there are many examples of strong bonds without a biological ties. Patrick takes on a fatherly role to Mietta, Floss is the matriarch and not blood related to Grace or Neva, yet they have extremely strong relationships with one another. When we marry, we aren't related to our spouses yet it can be the strongest bond of all! Our definition of family has changed and, in my opinion, has fortunately become much more inclusive.


Posted Jan. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
MarieA

Join Date: 10/12/11

Posts: 149

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

Love, support and truly caring define a family. These attributes can be experienced by biological family members or those persons who are not biologically connected but rather very close friends. As I grow older, I notice that some truly close bonds are shared by more non related people than those bonds shared with family members. Maybe things have changed to the point that the old adage that "Blood is thicker than water" is no longer as true as it once was.


Posted Jan. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
wendyf

Join Date: 05/11/11

Posts: 20

RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

I've learned on my years on this earth that family is not always those who you share a bloodline with. Family is often who you feel the most comfortable around and that is not always those with whom you grew up. Plus in our current society, families are not the nuclear Mom, Dad, two kids and a dog that many of us once knew. We have melded families through second marriages/relationships that can be just as rewarding.


Posted Jan. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianem

Join Date: 10/25/12

Posts: 65

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

I think not only the blood relationship makes a family but knowing that you have a connection of love and respect. You don't have to have to be related by blood but you should have that connection.


Posted Jan. 05, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Retired Reader, NE

Join Date: 09/16/11

Posts: 165

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

DNA is important, but I feel families are formed by shared love and experiences. Blood families are strong but can also break apart. I think we need both kinds.


Posted Jan. 05, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Peggy H

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 188

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

I think family has changed over time. Some depends on how physically close one is and hoe their relationships intertwine. These women had secrets from each other but were connected by their chosen profession. This shows that families can connect in different ways.


Pegh
Posted Jan. 08, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jeanettel

Join Date: 01/05/12

Posts: 53

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

Above all love, unconditional love, where you belong, where you grew up. The family instills togetherness, respect, Christian values, table manners, respect of adults. A family tries to eat together every night but at least once a week. There is exchange of ideas, knowledge to be learned or to be taught. Games to play together, books to read out loud. Children to be nurtured and enjoyed, all of this is being part of a family. Encouragement when we are down, celebration when we do well. The enjoyment of seeing each other and sharing together, this is the best feeling in the world. And love, love, love always


Posted Jan. 15, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
bettyt

Join Date: 05/12/11

Posts: 170

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

Unconditional love. I have a foster daughter and she feels like family to me more than my blood relatives, including my siblings. She has been there for me whenever I needed her. My blood family has not. I am there for her without any feeling of resentment. Since my blood family has not been there for me I go to their aid out of a feeling of obligation. With my foster daughter it is pure love that draws me to her.


Posted Jan. 16, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
juliaa

Join Date: 12/03/11

Posts: 160

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

Love and shared experiences make a family. as the definition of family has changed over the generations, it seems to me that more than ever, love is the main thing that makes a family. Grace and Floss are an excellent example of this--bound by love, not by biology.


Posted Jan. 18, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Sooz

Join Date: 07/29/14

Posts: 35

RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

A deep caring love for its members, whether or not related by blood is the key I believe. I am involved with a family not connected by blood or adoption but they are very much a family to me and a positive addition to my life. In some ways they remain more connected to me than my own blood brother who I have less contact with. Growing up in the 40's we were much closer and I experienced a very close family relationship with my biological family including my parents, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins,etc. for which I'm very grateful.


Posted Jan. 19, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
tracyb

Join Date: 09/22/11

Posts: 63

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RE: In your opinion, what is it that defines a family? What creates a familial bond?

Love is key along with the knowledge that family will be there if you need them. Up to the age of 1 1/2 I was lovingly raised by my aunts, uncles & grandparents. I credit this early experience to who I am today. I have continued to tell them this. My mother was there but only in the physical sense not emotionally. I agree that we create our family members & that can change as time goes on we move on.
Feeling safe & able to grow into your full potential is second to love.


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