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Spinster
A bold, original, moving book that will inspire fanatical devotion and ignite...
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Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Created: 04/28/16

Replies: 27

Posted Apr. 28, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1336

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Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Bolick describes the "spinster wish" as "the extravagant pleasures of simply being alone." Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?


Posted May. 02, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
karenrn

Join Date: 08/29/13

Posts: 68

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

I love to read. I also like to journal. I also enjoy prayer time with God alone. I'm a only child and have always felt refreshed after time alone. Its difficult for me if I don't have any time alone. I think solitary activities are necessary to my happiness.


Posted May. 02, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
barbm

Join Date: 02/04/16

Posts: 73

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes! I quilt, losing myself and finding myself in the colors and textures of fabric! I practice meditation which both grounds and elevates me. I read to experience lives outside of my own and expand my understanding and empathy for others. Running and biking connect me to my heart. Gardening slows me down and teaches me over and over the fragility and beauty of all living things. Perhaps I am a spinster!


Posted May. 02, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
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MSWaters

Join Date: 02/28/16

Posts: 4

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes! My favorite activity to do on my own is travel. There's nothing I enjoy more than taking off to a foreign country, where I know no one, and doing exactly as I please. When you travel with others, you have to do some of the things they want to do. When traveling alone, you get to be selfish. You can spend an entire day in a bookstore if you want without anyone saying, "Let's go." These things are essential to my happiness.


Posted May. 02, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lesleyf

Join Date: 05/14/11

Posts: 28

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes. Reading constantly - even more than my mountain of arts and crafts that I love to do. And one can die literally or figuratively when it is denied. My mother loved to read. Always and constantly. If we couldn't read at the table we would read the cereal boxes! When she went blind at 92, she died rather than be without her ability to read books, newspapers, and more. Also, when father would try to insist that we help mother with the dishes she would quietly shoo us away. She loved to be alone with them and look out the window to think and enjoy things in meditation while she washed and dried the dishes in peace. I think solitary activities are very necessary.


Posted May. 02, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
sweeney

Join Date: 05/24/11

Posts: 71

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

I find myself getting rather crabby if I don't have some time to myself--to do exactly what I choose, be it read, exercise, stitch, cook. This time for me re-charges me, and enables me to put myself out with other people (which, for the most part, I find draining). A true introvert, I think.


Posted May. 02, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 212

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes, there are so many things I love to do alone. I love to read and lose myself in the characters of a good book. I write poetry and I meditate. All these things I do alone, but that does not mean I am a spinster.


Posted May. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
janp

Join Date: 05/11/15

Posts: 31

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

More than 20 years ago (I am 65 now), my mother (who I always believed never knew/understood me) sent me a quote cut from a calendar. It was written by Dame Edith Sitwell in the 1880's: "My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence". My mother added "this is you!". I am still reading Spinster but this quote, which hangs on my refrigerator, makes me think that Dame Edith, a poet and author, could have been another awakener if I but known.
And, yes, without them I would not be happy.


Posted May. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
asha

Join Date: 05/01/13

Posts: 44

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Absolutely. At heart I'm a spinster. I can't imagine not having personal time with revolves around my interest in books, meditation, and nature. I completely felt empathetic to the stories narrated.


Posted May. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
juliaa

Join Date: 12/03/11

Posts: 160

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes, definitely! Reading, writing, listening to music, and meditation are the main solitary activities that I love, and they are all necessary to my happiness. I actually enjoy living alone and having time to myself at the beginning and ending of every day.


Posted May. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
melanieb

Join Date: 08/30/14

Posts: 86

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes. I require consistent periods of solitude in general to be in a good, happy state of mind. I prefer activities that allow for solitude including walking, reading, quilting, yoga, and meditation.


Posted May. 06, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianaps

Join Date: 05/29/15

Posts: 183

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

I love solitude! I am an avid reader, the family genealogist, love my CATS and enjoy scrap booking, crocheting and crafts in general. Sometimes I just sit on the porch and think. Thinking is very under rated!


Posted May. 07, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1336

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

This topic reminds me of a quote from Edith Sitwell, which I think likely resonates with most of us:

"My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence."


Posted May. 07, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
rosemaryc

Join Date: 05/07/16

Posts: 5

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Definitely reading. I also hike a lot, sometimes with a group, although even within the group I might go ahead on my own for periods of time. I enjoy being able to be "alone" while feeling the support of the group, and joining back in when I've had my own time to commune with nature and my solitary thoughts. The last couple of years I've done some traveling alone-but joining an organized group hiking in Europe. I've found it very exhilarating and freeing to be adventurous, meet new people, to test myself physically, but to also be able to be part of a group.


Posted May. 08, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
smsh

Join Date: 05/03/16

Posts: 12

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes, I love shopping and traveling alone at times. I love reading. I also absolutely love the solitary moments of being home alone. After 40 years of marriage, an extremely hard thing for me has been to have a retired husband. My grandmother used to use the quote, "for better or worse, but not for lunch". I think of that so often now. It has such a broader meaning for me now than it used to have.


Posted May. 08, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
sallyh

Join Date: 09/07/12

Posts: 85

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

yes, there are, and yes they are. Being married does not curtail my solitary pursuits.


Posted May. 08, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
terrio

Join Date: 08/16/11

Posts: 60

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Reading is absolutely necessary to my happiness. And I have to have solitude in order to really enjoy it. I can read while others are in the room, but I tend to be distracted just by the presence of someone else. A perfect lazy weekend day involves sitting on the screened porch with a cup of tea and a good book--alone.


Posted May. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
melindah

Join Date: 12/25/12

Posts: 48

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

I love reading, and creating - both of which are solitary. I also love going to the movies alone. These things are necessary, but so is togetherness. Balance between my marriage and my self are key to my happiness, and his!


Posted May. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ylhoff

Join Date: 10/23/12

Posts: 56

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Reading is my favorite activity. However, I can do that in a room full of people or with a person by my side, and still have it be a solitary experience.


Posted May. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
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donnac

Join Date: 03/26/14

Posts: 122

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

To paraphrase, solitary is as solitary does. So like others here I can be solitary in a roomful of people. But I also need frequent periods of being physically disengaged from others to recharge. I swim laps ( for an hour+) several days a week. Sure it's around a whole row of people all doing the same thing but each of us is alone with our thoughts. We're cordial but respect each other's solitude. I write. I read. Cooking and baking are solitary activities for me. I love to entertain and host dinner parties but I like to be alone in the kitchen and discourage guests who like to chitchat in the kitchen. I'd prefer to chat with them as they do dishes! ::;-):: And I love to take long solo drives with music turned up loud and the wind blowing my hair. Alas this doesn't happen often enough for me anymore.

BTW, smsh, I love your grandmother's quote. As a woman living with a retired spouse,"for better or worse, but not for lunch", takes on real meaning. Thanks for sharing.


Posted May. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
pennyp

Join Date: 03/22/12

Posts: 271

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes, although I have been married almost fourty years, i have always had a need for a lot of alone time. I paint, exercise, read and listen to music. I am lucky to be in a relationship where my partner has these needs as well.


Posted May. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
rebeccak

Join Date: 05/26/12

Posts: 39

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Nearly everything I do is rather solitary. It takes effort for me to spend time with other people - especially if it's in a group of more than two or three. I'm an only child, and I was a "latchkey kid" growing up. I'm much more comfortable alone than around others.


Posted May. 10, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
LindaB.

Join Date: 06/11/14

Posts: 59

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

I love to read and work with paper crafts. I need my solitary time or I become very irritable.


Posted May. 11, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
andreab

Join Date: 07/29/14

Posts: 71

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

I love reading and it is necessary to my happiness. I enjoy discussing books with others but the actual reading is an individual activity. I married a person who is not a reader - he only reads what is necessary for his job. Though we enjoy different activities, our differences make us a perfect match for each other.


Posted May. 12, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lynnw

Join Date: 09/01/11

Posts: 124

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

I think asking this question of a book club is pretty funny. I could not imagine my life if I couldn't have some quiet time everyday (hopefully) to sit and read.


Posted May. 17, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
alisonf

Join Date: 01/31/13

Posts: 90

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RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Absolutely and those around me appreciate and respect my need for reading, knitting, walking and jogging, journaling, and other activities.


Posted May. 21, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
suzanner

Join Date: 04/26/15

Posts: 27

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

Yes, reading and piano practice are my solitary activities. Quietude is essential to increased soulfulness.


Posted May. 29, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
cb

Join Date: 03/19/14

Posts: 26

RE: Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

I need solitude.
Quiet.
Books.
Sexual intimacy with my husband of 40+ years.
The knowledge of my daughter's safety, independence.
Conversations with my son who left this realm more than 20 years ago.
Continued curiosity.
Not all solitary, but all soul requirements.


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