In what ways did Killian form Rachel's and Drew's personalities? How have your parents impacted the person you became?

Parents undoubtedly shape the adults their children become. In what ways did Killian form Rachel's and Drew's personalities? How have your parents impacted the person you became? If you're a parent, how do you hope you've influenced your children?

Parents pass on their values and Killian taught his children that if they were not super successful, the "winner", then they were nothing. Rachel found her strength in her own family and tried to have a close loving home. Drew attached herself to another man and his dream and then found herself at a loss when he dumped her. She allowed her father to pay the bills and therefore call the shots.
My father taught me to never quit, be true to my word, and to get everything in writing. My mother taught me I could do anything a man could do and to never be financially (or otherwise) dependent on anyone!

This is a very interesting question. As much as kids don't want to take on the traits (both desirable and undesirable) of their parents, it happens. I think this was made very apparent in this book. As for me, as I grow older I see more and more of my parents in me.

Lindsay, you are absolutely right in all respects. Killian, to me, was, rather unbelievable in his extremes, but having had an undemonstrative father who always expected you to be the best, I could identify. Hakari withdrew into her quilting world…and Drew her music. Once Rachel's swimming world collapsed she had to forge her "new" personality, floundering, but managing to establish her sense of self. I thought Tomoe's Ichi-go, ichi-e ("one encounter in a lifetime. Figuratively it means you don't get do-overs in life.") was such a great theme to carry the plot…and yet, in a sense, the sisters did finally et do-overs.

I think every parent influences their children in some ways both good and bad. We parents are only human after all and there are times when our interactions with our children are less than perfect. I had a very domineering mother much like Killian and although she never directly threw me out of the house she was quite clear that I was a disappointment. As a result, I spent much of my life trying to be a pleaser and failing miserably, at times, which affected my self esteem. As a parent, I always try to build my children up. Ironically, my mother, in showing me the wrong way to parent taught me the right way to parent

Killian no doubt was the most controlling, unloveable and unbelievable human being in his extreme behavior towards his daughters. What in his life made him so nasty and overbearing. Each of the women in his life withdrew to their worlds - quilting, swimming, and music. Rachel found herself in her new family, Drew in her music and another man and Hakari in her quilting/sewing/folk tale.

Parents can really mess up their kids and frequently do for various reasons. Killian was a miserable person himself and seemed to feel that it only fair that his family be equally miserable. The girls were I think well loved by their mother but she was so under Killian's thumb that she had no power and he made them all feel that he was doing them a favor just providing for them and for that they owed absolute obedience. Throwing Rachel out of the house and leaving Drew to cope alone affected them both. Rachel was lucky enough to end up with a place to go and was able to move on into marriage and parenthood with a rather strong determination not to repeat what happened to her that was almost a bit much to her kids. Drew choose a totally different and less conventional way to not be what her father really wanted and was doing okay and taking care of herself.
Since I had rather great parents who certainly never let me do whatever I wanted they also made sure I did all the things a kid needs to do to grow up a happy person. I always rather tried to emulate them as far as parenting though I only had two and they had eight so it was a bit easier. Like them I was adamant about letting them choose their own path in life once they were of age and supporting them though sometimes I still think they make some poor decisions.

I'm not sure about the link between Killian's personality & Drew's, but I could definitely see his influence on how Rachel turned out. Rachel was forced to grow up and become super-responsible at a very young age because Killian was so brutal to her. If nothing else he taught her to be independent.

I think that often children learn who they DON'T want to be from their parents. I hated the way my mother talked to my father and to us kids, and I promised I'd never be like that (and I'd like to think I succeeded).

Killian had a huge impact on the daughters. They grew up with secrets and strained communications and continued the practice in their adult lives.

We learn to parent from our own parents. It's a known fact that abused children go on to be abusers. However, sometimes children make a conscious effort to be the opposite of their parents so again they're learning parenting from their parents

I think Rachel was determined not to be anything like her father and yet she did take on some of his traits; persistance, being headstrong, and controlling. The difference is I think she was a little more aware of her traits and tried at times to rein them in when necessary, particularly around her husband.
In Drew's case she became the opposite in so many ways. More like her mother. Meek, go along with whaterer came her way or was easiest.
My parents impact has been very much the same as Rachel and Drew's. I had to learn a lot on my own regarding socially acceptable behaviors. How to be non-judgmental and think positively instead of negatively.

They both shared similarities, especially when attempting to wound each other. Rachel - controlling, stubborn, always right, leader. Drew - hurtful, compliant, passive.

My parents examples have taught me how to behave and how not behave. I learn from their mistakes and achievements to carve my own path. I established my integrity.

Rachel instead of becoming a social misfit chose to pick herself up and get her act together. She married a good man and had a happy life with her family. She didn't whip her kids into submission verbally as she had been. Drew was a little weaker and still was in the snares of her father for financial support. I think both of the girls still had deep scars from growing up with their vicious father.
I'm in my 60's and still haven't fully recovered from my childhood.