Did you find yourself torn about how to feel about any of the characters' reactions or decisions?

Did you find yourself torn about how to feel about any of the characters' reactions or decisions? What moments were particularly controversial to you, and how did they challenge your perceptions? Were there parts of A Great Country that made you uncomfortable? Why?

I was torn at the father's reluctance to have Away tested. His culture told him to let Away be an individual. He couldn't admit there might be a problem to be addressed. I could identify with culture influencing actions. I was raised in a family of German heritage where feelings weren't shown, stoicism was the norm. There was no hugging or "I love you's." It's hard to overcome the norms of a culture you were raised in.

I agree with Marcia - I found myself angry with Ashok for not supporting autism therapy for Ajsy. Would there have been a different outcome if Ajay had better social skills with Police or life skills to know that flying a drone at an airport is a horrible idea?

Resistance to testing and educating children for various differences or even disabilities is strong in most cultures. Parents don’t want to face the realities that their child will have to deal with if suspected issues do truly exist. Ashok’s resistance is quite common in all cultures. I am not sure these events surrounding the airport were really avoidable, but the consequences certainly fell harder on Ajay because of his ethnicity. Whether parents trying to establish themselves in a new culture have a higher responsibility to their children may be the real issue here.

I agree with paulagb's response. I have a granddaughter who I feel is on the low end of the spectrum, somewhat similar to Ajay, and also very tall for her age. My daughter is resistant to accepting the diagnosis but has agreed to get her additional support.

I was torn and angry with Jonathan Stern's instructions to the Shah family once the press became aware of the situation. The first paragraph on page 158 starts, "We have to paint a different picture for the public"......and ends, "We need to show the public you are the model minority and you're well integrated into American society." On the one hand I know he was just trying to help them weather the storm, but telling them to do things that were superficial: go to temple and display an American flag. Really?!
My big question is: What is the definition of American society? Once again I commend this author for telling a story that everyone should be able to relate to.

I thought the author did an excellent job of creating believable characters. I had to remind myself that the choices made by the children, Deepa, Maya and Ajay were choices that were often reactive rather than well thought out.
It was difficult to justify the choices made by the arresting officers and the court system once they found out that Jay was a child with a broken drone.

I wasn't sure about Ashley's father. He was portrayed as the cause of Paco's poverty, but when he heard the settlement had been delayed, he immediately rectified the situation.

I thought Ashok was too invested in how everyone perceived him - to the detriment of Ajay's getting the help he needed.

I think, along with other opinions, that Ajay would have benefited from having a "label" and getting the help he needed. It is sad that there is such a stigma related to the Autistic spectrum . However, I think that is certainly changing as we all become more aware. I'm not sure I agree with the family's choice to move. They might have been able to assimilate into the neighborhood given more time. I understand that they were stretched financially and I think that was a big part of their decision.

I was very frustrated with Priya - not for how she reacted to the situation regarding her son - but because she seemed like a woman who would not tolerate how Ashok refused to have Ajay tested for anything on the autism spectrum when clearly there was an issue. Based on how she acted otherwise, she seemed perfectly capable of standing up for herself, or for her son. I didn't think she was the kind of person who would allow someone else - even if it was her own husband - to tell her what was best for Ajay. She definitely believed something wasn't right & I was surprised she went along with Ashok for so long in not having him see a doctor. I'm glad she put her foot down in the end, but I'm surprised she went along with his "why label it?" attitude for so long.

I had some trouble with Priya too. It seems that after she deferred to Ashok and sent Deepa to India so that they could manage better financially, she kind of distanced herself from really caring for her children.

She worried that Deepa was putting herself in danger with the protests, but shrugged it off. She thought Maya was her model child and even when she suspected trouble over the expensive necklace, she shrugged that off too - very willing to believe that Deepa (who denigrated expensive things - especially when needed to impress rich white people) would have just spent her own money to help Maya do just that. And then, of course, knowing that Ajay needed help, she just let that go as well.

She was very quick to accept Archie's judgment that she had done everything she could for her kids - that Deepa was just headstrong, Maya was deceptive etc. However, to her credit, she also finally accepted Archie's insistence that Ajay needed help. (But if it hadn't been for the police incident, I'm not sure she would have.)

She also was very quick to believe that if they had just stayed in their previous neighborhood, everything would have been fine (and that moving back was the way to fix everything.) I'm not so sure that's true. Deepa is more angry than ever. And will Maya really be willing to give up the privilege she aspired to and saw within her grasp? And what is the future for Ashok now that his dreams were shattered? At least there may be hope for Ajay.

I agree with everything you said except about Deepa more angry. I think she would have been accepting of their move. You can protest from anywhere.

Ashok was a frustrating character for me, but to be fair, he was simply fitting into cultural norms. It is difficult to break away from the norms of the culture we are raised in. His insistence on moving his family to a more prestigious community when they were well adjusted where they were, and his refusal to have Ajay tested were both frustrating situations. Still, they were also essential elements of the story.

My biggest frustrations came with Priya. Yes, Priya was a good mother, especially to Ajay, but she seemed to ignore many opportunities that she had to be more helpful. I felt she often lacked the ability to understand or communicate with the others in the family. She did not try to understand Deepa; she did not try to have Ashok understand that Ajay could benefit from help; she did not seem to appreciate Archie. I felt she could be more proactive for her family. She was clearly smart, caring and loved her family.

The Shah family reactions and decisions did not surprise or upset me at all. I grew up third generation in an immigrant family that assimilated really quickly into a mainstream American lifestyle. Also, I have been privileged to be close friends with recent immigrants from India, Vietnam, Jamaica and Mexico. I think the author did an excellent job portraying the immigrant experience which is both similar and different for all the people who relocate to America. Our ancestors all left somewhere familiar and came to a place where they had to create a new life. For some it was harder than for others. When I read a book like this I wish my parents or grandparents were here to answer the questions I now want to ask them. The questions I never was interested in when I was too busy growing up. Books like this help me to understand them all so much better. They were doing the best they knew how at that time, just like most of us, and sometimes mistakes were made but not maliciously.

The characters in the book who upset me tremendously were those who were so entitled or clueless in their actions and words to anyone they thought was different. The characters who were judgmental and condescending. The characters who used force against a child.

One of the things that struck me in the book is how human the author portrayed her characters to be.

In terms of being clueless for example, Deepa clearly didn't understand the danger she put Paco in by insisting he participate in the protest - his mother could have been deported. He also had to tell her that her how it hurt him to hear her discussing her dreams (which were doable) when he had to quash his.

Then we have Ashok questioning Wu's status as a real American.

The author show us it's not so easy or black and white to determine who the "good guys" are because we all have prejudices and areas of lack of understanding of the situation of others - even others who are supposed to be our good friends.