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This Must Be the Place
An irresistible love story for fans of Beautiful Ruins and...
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What do you think Daniel means by the "dislocation between what you thought you were doing and what you actually did"? Have you ever had a similar sense about the purpose and meaning of your own life?

Created: 07/20/16

Replies: 5

Posted Jul. 20, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

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What do you think Daniel means by the "dislocation between what you thought you were doing and what you actually did"? Have you ever had a similar sense about the purpose and meaning of your own life?

On page 31, Daniel thinks, "That same feeling of dislocation between what you thought you were doing and what you actually did envelops me as I sit there, as I press my elbows into the surface of my desk. All along I'd thought my life had been one thing, but it now seems it might have been something else entirely." What do you think he means? Have you ever had a similar sense about the purpose and meaning of your own life?


Posted Aug. 03, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
joyces

Join Date: 06/16/11

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RE: What do you think Daniel means by the "dislocation between what you thought you were doing and what you actually did"? Have you ever had a similar sense about the purpose and meaning of your own life?

I have had this feeling many times and not only about what I was doing but what I was saying. There is I think a problem for me and others I know of not being aware of the possible unpredicted consequences of something I have said or done. I have been accused of being too helpful and of being too uninvolved and I guess it is only reasonable that should happen. As my father always said, "It is a matter of perspective".


Posted Aug. 06, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
JLPen77

Join Date: 02/05/16

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RE: What do you think Daniel means by the "dislocation between what you thought you were doing and what you actually did"? Have you ever had a similar sense about the purpose and meaning of your own life?

This did happen to me at a time of unexpected and unprecendented stress and shock in my life some years ago, a time when my world was turned upside down by loss. I found myself doing things that seemed reasonable at the time without realizing how wrong I was, how much I was acting not only against my sense of myself, but against my own self-interest, not to mention others who mattered to me. I have since come to realize that I was acting out of deeply suppressed feelings and needs, buried for decades. I wish I'd had a chance to uncover them and work through them earlier. But we live to learn...

It strikes me that Daniel has this sensation when he is in a moment of deep shock and stress, following news that threatens his own sense of security. He is aware of the shock, but it disconnects him with what he thought was true about himself and his life, and I think this is what he means. Just as in his own analogy (it was like connect-the-dots, when he thought he was drawing a train and it was a dragon, and so on...), he thought his life had a "shape" or meaning he was relying on, but the shock challenges that. And he begins acting on his long-buried feelings.


Posted Aug. 07, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Peggy H

Join Date: 06/13/11

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RE: What do you think Daniel means by the "dislocation between what you thought you were doing and what you actually did"? Have you ever had a similar sense about the purpose and meaning of your own life?

Oh, yes, kind of "the road not taken". What if I had gone to a different college or what if I would have worked elsewhere. This is not necessarily a negative feeling, more of a "what if?"


Pegh
Posted Aug. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ylhoff

Join Date: 10/23/12

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RE: What do you think Daniel means by the "dislocation between what you thought you were doing and what you actually did"? Have you ever had a similar sense about the purpose and meaning of your own life?

Daniel seemed to live more above his life as an observer than "in" his life. This is also reflected in his choice to be a linguist. If you pay attention more to the separate details (i.e., just the words), you have a hard time forming complete paragraphs ... or his case, a full life.

I have often made decisions, like those above, in stressful situations that the common sense me would never have made. It's almost like the real me got hijacked and when the mess had been made, I was returned to my body to clean it up. Never fun.

It was hard to keep reading while Daniel was busy messing up his life because he just wouldn't land on solid ground. How often can one have the urge to slap some sense into a character during the course of a story? With this one - rather often.


Posted Aug. 21, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
nancyh

Join Date: 06/25/13

Posts: 147

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RE: What do you think Daniel means by the "dislocation between what you thought you were doing and what you actually did"? Have you ever had a similar sense about the purpose and meaning of your own life?

I have read the comments above and they all sound good, pertaining to their lives. I cannot come up with an answer for me. I believe Daniel did a lot of wrong thinking, maybe due to his depression. I know when I am depressed my thoughts wander.


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