"Cherry Blossom Time": What did you think of Cassandra's husband's reaction to her believe that her life is stuck in a rut? Do you consider yourself someone who sticks to a routine?

In "Cherry Blossom Time", stay-at-home mom Cassandra begins to fixate on the postman's routine, realizing her life, too, is stuck in a rut. What did you think of her husband's reaction to her frustration? Do you consider yourself someone who sticks to a routine, or are you more of a free spirit?

The reaction of Cassandra's husband made me think that their marriage is going to end in divorce. And a big laugh-out-loud to the second part of the question. NOPE, I am a free spirit; I get bored. My best female friend feels the same way. We realize there are pitfalls, but -in general- we would not change our lives.

They were both stuck in a rut but he was more concerned about himself and couldn’t begin to see that she was in a bad state. Even though she obviously loved her son, it can be hard to just spend every day with a toddler and no mental stimulation or adult conversation. I pretty much stick to a routine but it is my preference.

Unfortunately David believes that as breadwinner his rut is more important than her stay at home rut. While she asks him to talk to her, he won't, unless it's to correct her use of "postman". I think this story is Berlin's portrait of a life she would not, could not lead. Hers may have been characterized by chaos, peopled with unique and eccentric souls, but not boring. And she skillfully alters Cassandra and Matt's boredom through simple welcome shifts in their daily routine. With the Berlin twist of murdering the postman, which shakes him out of his rut as well. I like a bit of order in my life, but I often go/do as the spirit moves me. I prefer rituals rather than routines.

This story made me laugh and cringe at the same time. I think it took a kind of bravery on Cassandra's part to change her routine once she noticed that her days were, like the postman's, "timed so perfectly." Her husband really couldn't be bothered to listen to her. It was like he couldn't see past his own issues/boredom to care about hers. I had to laugh when, after Cassandra confessed her "crime," all her husband could do was correct her word choice.

Routine... I do better with routine. Unfortunately, my life at the moment does not lend itself to routine, so I flounder. A lot.

David is unhappy with his job. He wants more time to write. He thinks Cassandra has it easy, staying home with the baby doing whatever she wants. He would like to stay home and write. He does not realize that there is somewhat of a routine when caring for a baby and that life can be boring.
When I worked I was the only person doing my job and I did have a routine as what I did Monday through Friday. Now that I am retired I volunteer a lot so I know what I am doing on those days. On my free days, as I call them, I do whatever I want. Often I make a list of what I need to do but if something does not get done there is always tomorrow.

I wanted to smack her husband and I, too, felt that this marriage could not survive. I thought the story was one of the best ones in that the significant message was conveyed with both humor and sadness.

David, Cassandra's husband, thinks that Cassandra's life is very fortunate. She can go to the park and play with Matt during the day while he has to go to work at a job he hates. He doesn't see her life as being in a rut--or if it is in a rut, it is a very nice one! He really doesn't seem to interested in her descriptions of her day other than to constantly correct her choice of words. Perhaps he is being passively aggressive in this way. My life is not very routine. Of course I have responsibilities I must perform daily, but in general, all my days are unique.

This story highlighted two things for me. First is how much each of just want to be heard and have our feelings and experiences validated by another. It is important to tell others that we value who they are and what they do.

The second is that this story seemed to illustrate the perception that many have of stay at home mothers. Somehow, raising a child and managing the home isn't deemed as important. Moms who stay home don't have any stress or problems. They have it easy and can play all day. To me it reflects a belief in our society that we are appreciated or worth more if we are making a financial contribution - -something that can be immediately measured. Investing time and energy in raising children isn't seen as really contributing much to the family or society. In cultures outside of the U.S., the role of a mother is highly valued, and mothers are treasured.

I am comfortable in my routine and do not see it as being stuck.

I think Cassandra’s husband is like most us: he sees his problems and concerns as paramount and sees her concerns as less important. His response is patronizing and self-centered. Routines can be perceived as a boring rut or as mentally liberating. We all have boring chores that have to completed (cleaning the litter box. Folding the laundry, driving to work). I like to think that routine chores give us the opportunity to think creatively about other things while we complete the “dumb” stuff. For example, we have time to imagine stories about the people we pass on the street while walking a dog.

Cassandra’s husband was abruptly (and quite rudely) dismissive of her comment. I’m 50/50 on the routine...some things I do are routine while other are not. For me, it’s a perfect balance.