Not Logged in.
Book Jacket

An American Marriage


A masterpiece of storytelling, and a 2018 Oprah's Book Club Selection.
Summary and Reviews
Excerpt
Reading Guide
Author Biography

Discuss An American Marriage by Tayari Jones:
Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

Created: 04/09/19

Replies: 8

Posted Apr. 09, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1973

Expert

Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

A stint in prison isn’t the only type of life-changing event that can separate partners. Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited? Were you able to pick up where you left off in your relationship?


Posted Apr. 14, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Suzanne

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 265

Expert

RE: Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

My husband spent a lot of time away from home during our marriage. The first was the longest at 18 months; that was hard because our three kids were under five. Since he was in the military, there were four tours in Viet Nam, many, many deployments around the world, and the last a tour to Saudi Arabia for Desert Storm. I was very affected by that tour since CNN made almost continuous coverage of the war and I got hooked into it. And our kids then were away at school or married.

We did recover from the absences. But I remember feeling out of touch and a sense of shyness for a few days. I was responsible for so much while he was gone, at times it was hard to relinquish my control!


Posted Apr. 14, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
melanieb

Join Date: 08/30/14

Posts: 157

Expert

RE: Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

I was a military brat. My dad was in the service and he went overseas for about 2 years when I was a preschooler to grade school. When he left, I had specific memories of him and when he came back there seemed like a physical gap where the memories were not the reality. It was like having left off in one place and picking up in another place with no continuity. It took a a few months to get back in synch.


Posted Apr. 15, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kdowney25

Join Date: 01/25/16

Posts: 98

Expert

RE: Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

Like Suzanne, we were a military family and went through lots of deployments. When my husband came home after months and months away, it was very awkward and even difficult to adjust and transition into some semblance of a routine. Being responsible for everything while he was gone, and being a single parent for all those months, it was difficult for both of us to share the responsibilities when he got home, especially since our expectations of how to do that were so vastly different. At times he seemed like a stranger. We all got through it, but it was challenging for everyone in the family.


Posted Apr. 23, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marianned

Join Date: 07/02/15

Posts: 72

Expert

RE: Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

No. That’s why I tried hard not to judge any of the characters, but I just could not understand either Celestial, who she gave Roy every reason to think she’d be there when he got out of prison, or Andre, Roy’s best friend who moved in on Celestial in a way he thought required no apology.


Posted May. 08, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ruthiea

Join Date: 02/03/14

Posts: 174

Expert

RE: Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

My husband and I have often been separated because of his work - at times he was away all week and returned for weekends, then he was in one city and I divided my time between him and my children in another city. It was always weird the first day together - I also felt a bit shy but also sometimes resented having to re-assume the "wife" role - cooking, cleaning etc with him, and the mom role with my kids - it was like slipping into different skins each time. When I was alone with my kids we fell into a routine, with "our" rules, and they often resented when he was there and tried to impose his rules and routines on all of us. It made him feel like an outsider. I don't think this is an ideal situation, but it is what we have to do right now. On the plus side, I will say I do like having my own bathroom when we are not together!!


Posted May. 12, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Beth350

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 89

Expert

RE: Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

Yes, I was separated for about 30 years from a family and close friend who moved away. For some of that time, we kept in contact, but for about 20 years we never spoke or wrote anything. I found them again in Facebook and after a couple years, went to visit. I was very nervous about seeing them. I got big hugs, and some compliments, but it felt strange. There was both too much to ask and say and almost nothing that could be asked or said. We remain friends, and maybe we will see each other again. I don't know.


Posted May. 15, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lilliantpr

Join Date: 01/23/12

Posts: 42

RE: Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

Yes. When I was in 7th grade my family had to move from my hometown to another place overseas, and I was separated from my childhood friend, which I had a crush on and was his girlfriend on and off. Forty years after we saw each other again when I visited my hometown for a BBQ get together of old-time friends. He was married, I was divorced. He had changed so much physically (he had that John Travolta look when young) and he also went from beautiful stylish thick hair to almost bald.
It was a little awkward for me as everyone was watching us. Of course, his wife was around. I tried to sound natural and asked him a few things about his family and all. The party finished and that was it! Even though each of us had taken different paths and we respected that, I so much wanted to talk with him alone. I went to my hotel and the next day I left. I felt so unsatisfied and sad because I really didn’t give the crush of my life a real big hug. A few years have gone by since that BBQ gathering. I’m already remarried. We are friends in Facebook, but we say very little to each other. But I do feel the day we were reunited was a very special day for both of us, even though we didn’t get a chance to exteriorize our feelings.


Posted May. 21, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 369

Expert

RE: Have you ever been separated from someone you loved for a period of time? If so, what were the circumstances, and what was it like when you were reunited?

The only time I was separated from my husband was for a few months while we were moving from Ohio to Oregon. He left to start his job and find us a place to live, while I packed up the house. It was odd the first time I saw him again - it was almost like a dream, someone I knew yet didn't. It was also stressful, because neither understood what the other had been undergoing while we were apart. It took a few weeks for us to get back to the relationship we had before the move.


Reply

Please login to post a response.