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The Ways We Hide


From the bestselling author of Sold On A Monday, a sweeping tale of an ...
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What did you think of the saying "where two religions share a pillow, the Devil sleeps between."

Created: 09/08/22

Replies: 15

Posted Sep. 08, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3058

What did you think of the saying "where two religions share a pillow, the Devil sleeps between."

Fenna mentioned overhearing Arie's mother cite an old Dutch saying: Where two religions share a pillow, the Devil sleeps between. What do you think of this saying? Do you think it was true then? How about now?


Posted Sep. 11, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
joanw

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 56

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

The saying is a true one mostly. In today's world not so much as years ago. Two different people with two different religions was frowned upon by families - in the case of having children which do they attend or believe - But then religion is not the only thing that comes between people.


Posted Sep. 11, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 668

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I think how true it is depends on the couple. My grandmother was Protestant while my grandfather was Roman Catholic. They agreed before marriage that any daughters they had would be raised in my grandmother's faith, sons in my grandfather's. To my knowledge there was never any friction due to their different religions.

I'd like to think prejudice against those of other faiths is on the decline, but in recent years I'm no longer sure of that. Regardless, I think if couples understand what they're getting in to, it shouldn't be a barrier to a happy marriage.


Posted Sep. 11, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marks

Join Date: 02/25/19

Posts: 90

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

As others have mentioned, I think it was more true then than now, especially considering the setting of the story. That being said, the political climate today seems to have reignited this notion. In the end, love is love. If both people go into the relationship honestly and openly address the possible "issues" that could pop up, it shouldn't be a problem. I have friends who have happily shared two religions on that pillow for years without problems. If anything, they consider it part of what makes their relationship so strong.


Posted Sep. 12, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
shirleyv

Join Date: 04/29/22

Posts: 9

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I recall this religious message from parents when I was young--one religion was right and the other wrong, so the two couldn't be mixed. What better way to refute such viewpoints than going to public school. Both Catholics and Protestants (as in the story) went to school together and interacting, we could either see no difference or couldn't have cared less about any differences and summarily dismissed such one-sided ideas. Arie and Fenna seemed to have done the same. They were good, long-standing friends before really understanding that they had fallen in love. Arie's mother's comment could eventually be something for them to reckon with, but only from her perspective, not theirs.


Posted Sep. 13, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
smallino

Join Date: 06/06/21

Posts: 50

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

As others have stated above, this was more true in the past. My jewish and catholic relatives all shunned family that wed out of the religion. I think much more rare today and certainly has no impact on my family or friends.


Posted Sep. 15, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
paulagb

Join Date: 08/16/17

Posts: 151

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I think it is true when children are produced or either of the families is more fanatic than average. If a person has chosen a particular religion, usually because they were raised in it, it would be difficult to raise a child with different beliefs. I suspect some of the religious education might cause difficulties between the parents. Commenters appear to believe it is less divisive than in the past. I think this is only true because often people are not as committed to a particular religion as they once were.


Posted Sep. 17, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
susanr

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 192

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I think it was very true in the past. My parents believed that the only people who would go to heaven were people of a certain religion. I think that this attitude has changed completely since then but probably still exists within some very strict religions.


Posted Sep. 18, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ssh

Join Date: 02/04/14

Posts: 69

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I had never heard that particular saying. But I was brought up with some of the sentiment. My mother converted so our family would all embrace one faith. I agree that it is perhaps less of a problem if religious attachment is not so strong. I remember being raised with the feeling that we should all be tolerant and accepting of other beliefs. But also to avoid choosing someone from another faith because marriage has enough challenges. I am not sure about current feelings.


Posted Sep. 19, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 435

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I believe this saying was true in the past, and often used as a method of keeping the younger generation from marrying someone of a different faith. Superstitions often brought fear. I remember as a child being taught that to attend a service in a church of a different denomination would be a mortal sin. These beliefs were often used to keep a person in line by creating fear. Today religious faiths are much more accepting of each other. However, these sayings (slogans) or even words are used to create anger, distrust, and fear among people, for example in politics or race.


Posted Sep. 21, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
barbf

Join Date: 11/29/17

Posts: 25

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I clearly remember seeing this sentence and then re-reading it several times
I wondered what the heck it meant!
Growing up in a very atheist family I was very much not aware of religious tribalism
So! Now I understand that passage!


Posted Sep. 22, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
JHSiess

Join Date: 06/12/22

Posts: 14

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I had never heard that phrase before, but am intimately familiar with the concept. I heard stories growing up about the divisions between Catholics and Protestants that existed when my mother was growing up. In fact, one of her brothers married a woman from the opposite "camp" and it was scandalous. My grandparents refused to attend the wedding & it was a source of conflict within the family throughout their lives. Very sad. In fact, it remained an issue when he died & decisions had to be made not only about which clergyperson would officiate at his funeral, but surrounding which cemetery he would be buried in! In that region of the country, the cemeteries are situated on church property.

It all seems so ridiculous to many of us in 2022, especially as mainstreatm religions continue to see mass exoduses from their ranks. But when he died in early 1986 it was still very much a point of contention.


Posted Sep. 26, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Navy Mom

Join Date: 04/12/12

Posts: 294

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

Today that seems ridiculous to me, but my Mom was raised in a Baptist Church and my Dad in a Catholic Church. My Dad was excommunicated for marrying my Mom because she wouldn't agree to raise their children as Catholic. She didn't have to change but the children had to be Catholic. So I understand how that was a big consideration for families. Their actual wedding took place in my grandparents living room and not a church. I have to say my Catholic grandmother didn't like it but she supported their marriage. I totally don't agree with it and causes me to mistrust organized religion.


Posted Oct. 03, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Missys

Join Date: 10/24/17

Posts: 46

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I also found the saying interestingly strange when I read it. I thought about it for a while and just couldn't understand why the "devil" would sleep between. I can see conflict over certain traditions, but the "devil"? That almost sounds like marrying outside your religion is sinister.
Honestly, I wondered if was it a similar mindset to racism? - A tactic to keep "like with like" and not intermarry?
I do understand that some religions are fundamentally different than other religions and blending a family with two radically different ideologies could be extremely difficult, but I still struggled with inserting the devil between the differences.


Posted Oct. 14, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
K Bosman's Gravatar
K Bosman

Join Date: 09/15/22

Posts: 22

"Where two religions share a pillow, the Devil sleeps between."

I had not heard the phrase, but the concept is familiar. When two people hold strong but differing opinions about religious or political beliefs it can be hard to share the running of a home, the raising of children, and the interaction with in laws and social circles. Old Testament Jews were told not to marry outside their faith. New Testament Christians were told to not be unequally yoked. I have friends who grew up in the Dutch Reform tradition who's parents and grandparents would not have taken kindly to them marrying outside that denomination. I grew up in a culture were Catholics and Protestants married each other, but while in college my Catholic friend married a Protestant and he took classes to become a Catholic. Her church would not have married them or accepted him as part of their community. My cousin married a Catholic and after they divorced his priest came to her home to help them annul their marriage so that her husband could marry again. I was raised that we should be accepting of everyone's beliefs. That being said accepting other people's beliefs and their rights to believe that way is different than running a household together. My brother married a Catholic and they sent their kids to Catholic schools because it was the better education in their town. To me the difference between Catholic and Protestant would not be a problem. The basic belief is the same. Beyond that difference we would not be able to worship together and that would be problematic. There is a big difference between running a home and running a community. In a community of any sort, or a nation, people need to be able to be understanding and tolerant of other people's beliefs. To live peacefully together we need to be able to acknowledge that everyone has a right to believe the way the were taught or the way of their conviction as long as it is not harmful to others.


Posted Oct. 19, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
DebbieLeeB

Join Date: 10/19/22

Posts: 2

RE: What did you think of the saying &...

I never heard that phrase before this book. I agree with others that it applied more at the time of the book than in current times. Sadly, I don't think religion plays that integral a part of the modern life & marriage any more.


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