Since I'm from an older generation, I have to say that most fathers' careers came first, when I was growing up. My father was rarely home till after we'd all finished our dinner, and at one point he went to South America for 6 months; I know he was missed by my mother, but we were used to him not being there, and I never felt close to him. Even during the time we were raising our kids, husbands didn't take as much part in that as they do today. I commend the men of today who get involved in their kids' lives and spend more time with their wives.
My mother worked for years, but she was involved with all of us. I don't know if that's true of all women, but I know many who have done both...and well.