Book Summary and Reviews of Before I Forget by Tory Henwood Hoen

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labmom55

Rings true
“Alzheimer’s is not funny, except when it is, which is often. It has the capacity to be both devastating and hilarious, and those who witness it learn to live in limbo, because there’s nowhere else to live.”

Those of us living with someone with Alzheimer’s recognize the truth of these words. You laugh because if you don’t, you’ll cry. At 26 years old, Cricket finally steps up to being responsible so her older sister can fulfill her dream. Because Cricket’s father has Alzheimer’s. It’s still early stages, he may not know exactly who she is, but he still has “functionality”. For those who haven’t been forced to learn the jargon, that means he can still do things for himself. And he still loves his house and the pond and the wildlife. And he still has his sense of humor. I remember once being told that as the filters go away, people’s natural personality traits come out more. The paranoid become more paranoid, the angry become angrier. Luckily, her dad has a pleasant personality, happy to roll with life.

The book takes an unexpected turn as her dad seems to develop some sort of sixth sense that goes public. I wasn’t initially sure if this twist would work for me. But it did. It was a reminder to accept each new reality. There’s a reason Cricket hasn’t been home for nine years. Something happened when she was a teenager and she’s never reconciled herself to those events. The book flips back and forth between then and now.
The book focuses on being there for someone while still trying to find your own sense of self. It was lovely without being overly sentimental. (But I will admit to shedding a few tears.). It was beautifully written and I highlighted quite a few phrases, especially those dealing with grief, acceptance and the bugaboo that is Alzheimer’s.
My thanks to Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press for an advance copy of this book