I thought this was going to be a love story. Boy from New York charms 'lost' girl - boy offers family, home, love, marriage...escape from her past. This is not a love story. This is a story of a woman with demons, facing ghosts, a past too painful to tell and way too fast to outrun. But she doesn't run, she succumbs and at times allows it to nearly swallow her. She sees doctors for the sake of others, but for her, the suffering is deserved.
I was so moved by this book, and parts of it were relatable to my own childhood. I even dog-eared page! (Not a spoiler alert) "Children who are...who are made to feel rejected at a very early age. Even in infancy. They are often vulnerable to deep feelings of shame as an adult." pg. 226-227. It goes on, but that struck a chord for me.
This is unlike many historical fiction circa WWII novels I've read. This is a young woman that survived, yet can't face living.
I appreciate her struggle but I fought with her when she fought with her husband. Fearful of her surroundings at all times. Who is watching her? Can they see my sin?
She is certain that no one will ever understand her struggle and she carries the weight of pain and guilt at all times. Can she ever forgive herself?
I liked the play of time periods. It went back and forth, memories past and present, easy to follow, and relatively short chapters. Amount of characters were managed well without confusion. For the most part, the inclusion of Yiddish, Jewish, and German was okay and usually immediately explained. She smoked A LOT! But, it was who she was and the level of stress, and fit with the time period, it was her character.
This is a book of the painful survival of the prisoner within.