Memorial Days is a memoir by award-winning, best-selling Australian author, Geraldine Brooks. When, in late May 2019, Geraldine learned of the sudden death of her husband of thirty-five years, Tony Horwitz, she didn’t get the chance to grieve. Four years on, in 2023, she
…more travelled to Flinders Island where, in a remote little shack, she allowed herself to do so.
That first notification call to their Massachusetts home by the ER doctor at George Washington Hospital in DC was utterly devoid of any empathy, and a later call to the same ER offered a jaw-dropping lack of sensitivity. Geraldine experienced a roller-coaster of care: the DC policeman who spoke to her was considerate and gentle, as was the first person to find Tony, collapsed in the street, and neighbours in West Tisbury who would care for her horse and dogs.
In that immediate aftermath, there was so much pressure on legal and financial fronts, and on acknowledging a tsunami of condolences, she couldn’t permit herself the time and space to deeply grieve. Instead “I’ve moved around in public acting out a series of convincing scenes, one endless, exhausting performance.” That is what she went to Flinders Island to allow herself to do.
“I have only a loose notion of how I will spend my time here. I will walk and reflect, taking whatever solace nature cares to offer me. I will write down everything I can recall about Tony’s death and its aftermath. I will allow myself time and space to think about our marriage and to experience the emotions I’ve suppressed.”
Geraldine explores how the different cultures deal with death, noting how most faith traditions “put guardrails around the bereaved, rules for what to do in those days of massive confusion when the world has collapsed.”
She had a book to finish, but it wasn’t something that could happen with “the beast of grief clinging to me, claws as intractable as fish hooks”
Towards the end of the book, she begs for reform of the US medical-forensic establishment’s inhumane practices, which prevented her gaining comfort from being with Tony, and forced her to ID from a photo. And she implores the reader to write a guide to their household, to help those left behind after a sudden death.
Much of what Brooks writes about the immediate aftermath of her husband’s death can’t fail to have the reader choking up, tears welling, and it’s difficult to imagine that she wasn’t writing this with tears streaming down her face. Her grief will resonate with many readers, and her experience will shock and move. Beautifully told, full of love. (less)