I only picked this up because it was at the thrift store and I'd heard so much about it. I expected it to be hokey, which it sometimes is, but I didn't expect it to tell me so much about myself and especially my husband that I had no idea about. When I read the things that …more a wife may say and how a husband hears it, I thought it must be a stretch, or only some men think that way, surely not my husband, since he'd never really said anything about not feeling trusted. So when I asked him if he thought those things, and felt that way I was VERY surprised to hear he did. I read this while on the treadmill, he listened to it on his commute, and then at night we'd talk about things, constantly amazed. He'd say "I can't believe how much I never validated your feelings. I always wanted to fix your problems or cheer you up, or if I felt like you thought it was my fault I just wanted to withdraw." Now when he hears me start off on how terrible it was at the doctor's with rude nurses and the kids causing trouble or whatever I'm whining about he listens and tries to say "That sounds tough" or "That must've been so frustrating" or something and I'm amazed at how quickly I feel better and can go on forgetting all about it, whereas before he'd try to help by saying "maybe next time you should leave the kids who aren't sick with a babysitter, or you should write into the office manager," or any number of things that just made me feel worse, though he was trying to support me, he just didn't know how. Also, I was always trying to support him by offering suggestions and I had no idea it made him feel like I didn't trust him or feel like he was capable. Suddenly when he's doing something I think I should ask him to change I bite my lip and realize that he's a smart man, loves me, doesn't try to hurt me, and I should respect his choices, especially when they are small day-to-day things (like I almost said "are you sure you should go to your friend's house first, do you think you'll have enough time before you pick up so-and-so?) as if he couldn't tell time or anything.

For those who feel this is one sided, or against women, I highly suggest you have your partner read it also. It WOULD feel one-sided if you were doing all the changes, but it just feels great to work together at respecting each other and actually appreciate the differences in behavior, thinking, emotion. (less)