Everly blamed herself for Mora's death, believing that she caused Mora to stand in the path of the oncoming car. How does guilt impact grief? Why do you think we blame ourselves when we really had no control?
Created: 03/31/22
Replies: 6
Join Date: 10/15/10
Posts: 3442
Everly blamed herself for Mora's death, believing that she caused Mora to stand in the path of the oncoming car. How does guilt impact grief? Why do you think we blame ourselves when we really had no control?
Join Date: 09/06/16
Posts: 30
I think the self imposed guilt is a way to deflect the grief we feel when someone we love dies. Guilt is actually one of the stages of grief and is one of the normal stages to work through on our way to healing. When this happens it’s normal to examine the relationship and wish we had done more, said more, or been more present with the person we lost.
Join Date: 06/26/18
Posts: 32
Join Date: 12/04/20
Posts: 137
It seems that guilt may be a form of denial...the thought that it wasn't possible that Mora would have just died as a result of her own actions. Everly was also feeling guilt over her feelings for Mora's partner. It seemed to all come to a head in the form of non-acceptance and guilt.
Join Date: 09/15/20
Posts: 33
Join Date: 05/16/16
Posts: 149
I thought of this as survivor's guilt. It seems easier to blame yourself than to accept that it was an accident and not your fault. I also think it's common to relive these moments and she dwells on what would have happened if she wouldn't have bumped them over. I agree with charlaw that guilt can deflect grief, I think you can't properly grieve until you've processed the guilt.
Join Date: 10/28/18
Posts: 12
I think guilt always plays a part in grieving. You have to choose how big a part it will be. You also have to be willing to forgive yourself/ask for forgiveness, so that you can move forward. Otherwise you get stuck reliving what can’t be changed and missing out on the new experiences life offers.
Reply
Please login to post a response.