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Spinster
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What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

Created: 04/28/16

Replies: 9

Posted Apr. 28, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1358

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What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

Bolick writes, "The single woman has always been stigmatized as a lonely old spinster with too many cats." What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?


Posted May. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
melanieb

Join Date: 08/30/14

Posts: 86

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RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

I think it is a matter of habits or state of mind. I've known married or coupled women who carved out space for themselves, pursued goals, developed and achieved professionally in ways that were at odds with societal norms for married women including making a conscious choice to not have children, to be in long distance marriages over a period of many years, and to maintain a total division of finances.


Posted May. 05, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 247

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RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

Single by the very nature of the word means one. A single woman is not married. A woman, married or single can choose the type of life she wants to live. Every life is a state of mind, remember we create our own happiness. If raising cats gives you pleasure, do it, you don' ;t need a label.


Posted May. 05, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 247

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RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

Just a thought, as far back as the Civil War woman were soldiers, spies, messengers and nurses, some dressed as women some as men. When not on the battlefield they were at home running the farm, keeping the house going, keeping the business going and raising a family. Nobody said maybe the spinster should do it, or only married ladies can do it. Women always rose to the occasion and never needed a label.


Posted May. 06, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianaps

Join Date: 05/29/15

Posts: 203

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RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

Single is a state of mind and happiness that doesn't work for all women. Their lives can be as full and meaningful as a married woman. It's all a matter of what is best for the individual.


Posted May. 08, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
smsh

Join Date: 05/03/16

Posts: 12

RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

The term single does create a different image in my mind than spinster. Spinster makes me think of a woman who has never married while single may apply at different points in life. I think single has a legal definition and an informal definition. Being married or single does not seem to me as clear cut as it used to be.


Posted May. 08, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
sallyh

Join Date: 09/07/12

Posts: 85

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RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

Single means, to me, not being in a relationship, not just being unmarried. If you're married, you're not single, even if you act like you're single and wish you were single. However, it's certainly possible to be married but still be very independent and autonomous.


Posted May. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ylhoff

Join Date: 10/23/12

Posts: 56

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RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

When not engaged in a relationship with a partner (whatever that looks like) a person is single. You can think of yourself anyway you want; however, given humans' need to give everything a definition (or to put things in clear categories), this seems the most fitting label. Bolick's thought was such an old misstatement ... almost everyone in the developed world knows at this point in time that the likelihood of a single woman having a bunch of cats and living quietly in the spinster world has been well blown out of the water.


Posted May. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
pennyp

Join Date: 03/22/12

Posts: 278

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RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

I think today, for many people, there is a conscious choice to remain single. Some decide to have a relationship and not marry, some decide to have no romantic relationships and remain alone. I think marriage is on the down swing.


Posted May. 21, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
suzanner

Join Date: 04/26/15

Posts: 27

RE: What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

The mind is more powerful than the body. Spinsterhood is a state of mind that in turn defines a current marital status. A woman's "singleness" is a combination of pursuit one goal that achieves against all others, an inability to be generous of time and heart, making poor choices (not only with men in relationships), a certain level of distrust, and a sense of self that overrides much.


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