Why do you suppose Laura waited so long to tell the children she raised about her oldest son? Were you surprised by the children's reactions?

Laura waits until she’s a grandmother to tell the children she raised that she had a son before she was married. Why do you suppose she waited so long? Were you surprised by the children’s reactions?

It was such a painful part of her life. Perhaps she thought the children would think less of her, knowing she'd had a child out of wedlock. I thought her children reacted quite well.

I’m sure Laura wanted her children to be old enough to understand before telling them. I told my daughters each at age 16 to help them think about what a pregnancy at that age would do to their lives. I also made such they each received early sex education and later access to birth control when needed.

I think she wanted to make sure they were mature enough to accept what she had done. Maybe not agree or totally understand, but they were old enough to realize the circumstances of the time. I believe she could have told them sooner. I was not surprised by her children's reaction, they reacted well to a mother that had raised them well and they know they were loved.

In the 60s, so much shaming was directed toward unwed pregnancy, and it lasted for a long time. As opinions changed, there was still a lot of shame aimed at women who relinquished a child. So often the phrase “I could never do that,” condemned birth others and insured their silence and secrecy. Laura was treated differently by her own family and by strangers, it would have been very hard for her to share her secret.

It’s a testament to her loving parenting that her children accepted Richard.

I think it was so painful and one wonders if the children may fear that their mother might give them up sometime.

I shared the news of my birth son with my two girls on their sixteen birthdays. Both of them were very supportive and wanted to meet their half brother. So when DNA brought us together at last they were both thrilled to know him and we have successfully created a new extended family. I am finally at peace!

I agree with those that felt she might have waited until they could process the information better. There is also the elements of shame and regret. Would her children think less of her?

Laura waited until her children were grown, hoping they would accept that they had an older brother. No, I wasn't surprised at their response.

I think it had been so ingrained into her that she couldn't tell anyone her "secret". If Richard hadn't found her, I'm not sure she ever would have told her other children.

Revealing an inner most secret is difficult no matter your age. I think Dustin's reaction was so accepting when he said, " I hope this heals the hole that must have been in your heart this entire time."

I agree with swchis39 that Laura, because of the time and environment that she grew up in, was carrying a lot of shame and regret and couldn't see that her children were living in an entirely different world. The loving environment she raised them in was unlikely to be upset by this revelation so I was not surprised at their reactions.
I also agree with Susanna that revealing an inner most secret is difficult at any age, especially if there is nothing to be gained. This leads me to agree with scottishrose. If Richard had not reached out what would be the point of sharing since Laura still carried the shame and regret feelings.

What you are taught when you are young stays with you and Laura was taught this was shameful. Things were different when her children found out. I would have been Iike them and would want to know my brother. It is sad she had to carry this secret for such a long time.

Scottish rose brought a new dynamic to that question: would she have told them without first being contacted by Richard? I think sometimes we need that little nudge. The fear of rejection can be very intimidating.