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Carolina Moonset


An engrossing novel about family, memories and secrets too dangerous to stay ...
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Do you think it's true that we care less about others' opinions as we age?

Created: 06/02/22

Replies: 23

Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3442

Do you think it's true that we care less about others' opinions as we age?

Virginia remarks that turning 50 was a freeing experience, that she no longer cares what other people think about her actions. Do you think it's true that we care less about others' opinions as we age?


Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
annel

Join Date: 08/23/17

Posts: 5

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I find at my age I care less of what people think of me. I guess over time one experiences many things and as you age what was once a big deal falls into perspective.


Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jamiek

Join Date: 11/21/17

Posts: 58

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I don't think I care less about others' opinions of me— especially as I get more wrinkles and turn grayer. I may be more intolerant as I grow older, but definitely not less sensitive.


Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
gerrieb

Join Date: 09/03/19

Posts: 217

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

While I think it’s very dependent on the individual, I do think the tendency is for the filters to lower. While I truly am less concerned by other's opinions of me, that doesn’t lessen my sensitivity to cruelty. I am very sturdy in my convictions, know my own mind and experiences and have the details to back up my statements and beliefs. However, I am also not sure if it is that one no longer cares as much what other’s think, as much as it is a loss of perspective on how harsh the words or opinions come across when spoken. My mother was just short of 96 years old when she passed, and while she was always a “ shoot from the hip”, kind of person, it wasn’t, until her later years that she tended to voice the same opinions in a much more brutal way. She always taught us to speak carefully and she always did and perhaps even in her twilight years she still was tempering her words to the best of her ability at that time.


Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
paulak

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 264

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

Yes! And thank goodness that is the case. I guess once we accumulate enough experience we realize the only opinion that really matters belongs to us and maybe a handful of other carefully curated loved ones.


Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ruthiea

Join Date: 02/03/14

Posts: 280

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I hope so! I just turned 60 and although I have always been fairly independent, I also dislike confrontation. So if you don't like what I am wearing etc, I could care less. If, however, I don't like behaviour I am not very likely (yet?) to confront you, I would probably walk away. I hope I will become braver in that respect!
I used to work with people with mild dementia and sometimes we would be shocked at what came out of their mouths, sometimes it was funny, sometimes mean, but it always seemed to be blunt and truthful, and I respected that.


Posted Jun. 03, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 1109

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I was reminded of the poem by Jenny Joseph - Danger (When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple). I feel that age/grey hair gives you permission to do what pleases you without caring what others think so much.


Posted Jun. 04, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
janeh

Join Date: 06/15/11

Posts: 222

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

Not sure if you don't care about others' opinions, but you certainly are more sure of yourself and your opinions and don't feel reticent in standing firm in your beliefs without regret.


Posted Jun. 04, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
RRO

Join Date: 07/18/11

Posts: 46

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I know that, as a fairly new retiree, I really don't care very much anymore about others' opinions. I am confident in who I am and try to present myself well; other than that I don't care. Drama has never been who I am and I tend to avoid it.


Posted Jun. 05, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
scottishrose

Join Date: 07/24/11

Posts: 241

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I think that is true. I know it certainly is for me. I think part of it is that our character and ideas just become more defined as we age, and maybe we are just more comfortable with the person we have become.


Posted Jun. 05, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
barbettet

Join Date: 10/01/20

Posts: 37

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

As others have suggested, I think it is a matter of confidence. We have lived long enough to know what we believe, what is important to us, and to be able to stand up for ourselves and what we believe.


Posted Jun. 05, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jdd

Join Date: 05/05/15

Posts: 10

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I love all the little references to aging and the different ways the characters deal with it -
Virginia's sister Christine said that aging can be a glorious freedom and that one day it will become our oppressor but until that happens it is our liberator. I feel that as I age I become more comfortable with who I am and more accepting of it. I no longer feel the need to work hard in front of others to present myself as someone they will like admire - what you see is what you get.


Posted Jun. 06, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kenanr

Join Date: 02/20/14

Posts: 41

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

RuPaul said (yes I am quoting RuPaul) "What other people think of me is none of my business." I think that is super freeing. I believe as we get older we realize that the many things we worried about when were younger are not as important as we suspected when it comes to how we are perceived by others. We learn that it is more important to be your authentic self than what others want or believe you to be.


Posted Jun. 06, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
s_wade

Join Date: 03/13/20

Posts: 3

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I think the more you are able to reflect back on your life experiences, the more you realize what you value and what tears you down. Worrying about others' opinions of you takes energy you may not be willing to waste as you age.


Posted Jun. 06, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
somanybooks...

Join Date: 04/02/17

Posts: 26

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

Wow! This is turning into a hot button issue. After many life time experiences I believe many of us feel we are entitled to our opinions and are not afraid to let everyone know it. Of course, some of us handle it better than others.


Posted Jun. 06, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
joang

Join Date: 05/17/12

Posts: 94

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

What other people think of me does not define me. I am not driven to seek approval for my opinion and behavior. During our tween, teen, twentysomething and thirtysomething...we were seeking opinions and behaviors to help establish our identity. For some it was established earlier for others later in life. Being a part of a group, fitting in, being popular is very important. Success in school and in one's professional or home life is also defining. With age, along with our continued growth and development, confidence, conviction and wisdom play a role. I remain confident and importantly respectful to others...I do expect the same in return. I guess it is as Virginia describes... a freeing experience to a certain degree.


Posted Jun. 07, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marand

Join Date: 12/02/20

Posts: 9

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

Yes I do....it is a relief to not worry so much about what people think of you. It does not, however, give one the right to demean, injure or otherwise belittle others in the name of "speaking my mind".


Posted Jun. 07, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
debbiec

Join Date: 06/03/22

Posts: 5

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I feel that it will always be specific to the situation and the individual.


Posted Jun. 08, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
sallyh

Join Date: 09/07/12

Posts: 153

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I definitely think we care less about other people's opinions as we age.


Posted Jun. 08, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kyliew

Join Date: 04/01/22

Posts: 7

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

It certainly applies to me! The older you get, the more you establish yourself as a person, the less you care about the opinions of others.


Posted Jun. 09, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Janet Smith

Join Date: 07/28/14

Posts: 62

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I believe we care less about what others think of us as we age. We also become more comfortable in our own skin...so it makes less of a difference.


Posted Jun. 10, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lindac

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 28

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

I do think it’s true. The zillions of life experiences we have had helps us solidify who we are and what matters. Life takes on a very different perspective, and our convictions become stronger. We stand more solidly in them!


Posted Jun. 11, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
joannew

Join Date: 07/08/17

Posts: 21

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

Absolutely! We learn that we can’t control other people’s opinions and must live our own truth.


Posted Jun. 11, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
LindaMonaco

Join Date: 04/13/22

Posts: 56

RE: Do you think it's true that we ...

For sure. As a teenager we are usually so worried about the opinions of our peers. As we age we become more self confident and able to more easily ignore what others think.


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