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Carolina Moonset


An engrossing novel about family, memories and secrets too dangerous to stay ...
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Speaking of teenage boys, Joey says "Our vortex of shame is so powerful all our thoughts and deeds get sucked into it, so we share nothing." Do you agree with his take?

Created: 06/02/22

Replies: 6

Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3442

Speaking of teenage boys, Joey says

Joey thinks to himself that most people feel that when children become teenagers, girls become more complicated and boys more stoic, but he believes that's incorrect; it’s not stoicism but shame. "Our vortex of shame is so powerful all our thoughts and deeds get sucked into it, so we share nothing." Do you agree with his take?


Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
gerrieb

Join Date: 09/03/19

Posts: 208

RE: Speaking of teenage boys, Joey says ...

I marked this same passage in my book as I felt it so profound. I don’t have a son, only a brother and husband, but I think from knowing both of them it fits. As Goldman writes it’s not just their thoughts but their “risky deeds”, as well.


Posted Jun. 02, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
paulak

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 264

RE: Speaking of teenage boys, Joey says ...

I think teenage hormones are powerful substances and can provoke a big tug of war between the frontal lobe and the more primitive brain. So yes, I agree with the sentiment and think it was perfectly put.


Posted Jun. 04, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
janeh

Join Date: 06/15/11

Posts: 222

RE: Speaking of teenage boys, Joey says ...

It was nicely put, but not sure shame as I define it is the driving factor. I would attribute teenage boys' rash actions sometimes as just a result of their slow
maturity process and some ambivalence between what they want to do and what their image of what a "macho" type male would do. Some of their role models weren't
models of integrity.


Posted Jun. 20, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 1091

RE: Speaking of teenage boys, Joey says ...

I'm not sure I agree with this. I think a child's home environment can have a huge impact on things like shame and communication. My best friend is a single mom by choice, and she has a great relationship with her teenage son. He's very communicative and doesn't hide things from her, and also doesn't have a macho role model to copy. So, in his case at least, I don't think the statement holds true.


Posted Jul. 01, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reedr

Join Date: 02/26/22

Posts: 12

RE: Speaking of teenage boys, Joey says ...

That's a sweeping statement, and Joey should have restricted that to his personal sentiment. What made him feel so shamed? Teenage boys are as complex as teenage girls. Sure, many are screwed up and reticent, for different reasons. It could be shame, fear, comparisons with peers, rejection, failure, lack of maturity, family dissolution, inability to excel in sports (shame could be tied to that), depression, anxiety, possibly all interlinked. Yet, for some teenage boys, the teen years are their best years. Think of Springsteen's "Glory Days."


Posted Jul. 06, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kmillerarndt

Join Date: 03/03/21

Posts: 32

RE: Speaking of teenage boys, Joey says ...

Shame can also be hiding pain. Joey felt shame and pain for dropping the gun into the river when he learned that he lost the ability to prove the gun was not the gun used to kill. He did not want to tell anyone else.
Joey felt pain after his father killed a man at the lake. He promised his father never to mention the event again. Maybe it was pain and shame at keeping the lie.
Joey felt shame for leaving the doors unlocked with his father home alone. It left his father open to accusations of murder.


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