I feel as if I am not the best qualified to answer this question, but this book helped me see what a balancing act many black people experience every day. Ruth can't comfortably vent about her job with co-workers without fear, Xavier always has to look his best so he is taken seriously at his job, and Mama disapproves of Ruth's natural hair. There is a tension every time Ruth or Corey goes into a store. Even middle class families like Corey's don't get to experience a safe existence- -having to have "the talk" with their sons. The police are not necessarily community helpers, but people who could kill you for just being a kid. While it wasn't specifically addressed outright in the book, we were presented with two fathers who were unemployed, drinking, and leaving their children with another caregiver. I sense that more excuses are made for "Butch" than for "Eli" in society. Eli was busted for holding a small amount of dope, but Butch feels secure enough to smoke right outside his hotel. I seem to recall an MTV series about teen moms- -all were white. Could we say that their circumstances were celebrated???!!!! Yet every time the "welfare queen" line is dropped, it is implied that black women from the inner city are stealing from taxpayers!
In another book discussion, a reader commented that "those in the dominant caste have an obligation to help those in the subordinate castes or, at the very least, not to make their lives worse." The Kindest Lie helps me see more clearly "the very least" I can do. The outrage I feel (again) motivates me to fulfill my part of the "obligation".