Arie calls Fenna a coward for leaving him when they were in their twenties. Do you agree with his assessment?
Created: 09/08/22
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I think it was cowardly but I think it was more a product of immaturity and her PTSD. The distinction might be minor as she did him a disservice
and owed him an explanation. However, it seems throughout the book her reaction to her recurring stress of the stampede is to flee and turn inward.
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I think that Fenna was afraid. She did not want to be talked out of her decision. But she was a coward to not put herself out there and fight for a life she wanted. A bit of a martyr and maybe she thought he'd come running after her. Or secretly she hoped he might.
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I'm not sure if coward is the best description for her actions. I understand why Arie would chose that word but I also think that Fenna was overwhelmed and thought leaving was the only answer. As with many decisions made unilaterally, it probably would have been best for all if she discussed it with Arie.
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I don't think coward is the correct description. With all the trauma Fenna experienced as a child, I think the correlation of children and negativity is a very normal response for a young lady who's experiencing love for the first time.
Adults from traumatic childhoods often flee from any real connection until they deal with their trauma.
Coward is a harsh word, but Arie doesn't have the shared experiences to understand Fenna's reaction and her reason for fleeing would appear cowardly to someone who just doesn't understand.
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Fenna reacted to her fears, common in PTSD. Those traumas and fears never leave you. Her whole life was controlled by the fear of suffocation. But I do agree with Arie, she took the cowardly way out. She owed it to him and to herself to stay and to discuss her fear with him.
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It is clear why Arie used that word. Understandable from his perspective.
However, it was also understandable from Fenna's perspective in that moment. Yes, in hindsight, she came to view her own behavior as cowardly but who hasn't? She was traumatized as a child, and did the best she could given the circumstances in which she found herself and her history.
It is human nature to sometimes be cowardly because bravery is so difficult. But it definitely shows character to realize that one behaved in a cowardly manner and take steps to rectify past mistakes, if possible. Fenna demonstrated that kind of growth.
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JHSiess - I agree with this. Good point.
"It is human nature to sometimes be cowardly because bravery is so difficult. But it definitely shows character to realize that one behaved in a cowardly manner and take steps to rectify past mistakes, if possible. Fenna demonstrated that kind of growth."
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