Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Summary and book reviews of Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads by Rosalind Wiseman, plus links to an excerpt from Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads and a biography of Rosalind Wiseman.
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads Coping with the Parents, Teachers, Coaches, and Counselors Who Can Rule -- or Ruin --Your Child's Life
by Rosalind Wiseman, Elizabeth Rapoport
Hardcover: Mar 2006,
352 pages.
Paperback: Feb 2007,
352 pages.
What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?
Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and
conflicts with other adults that make them act like they're back in seventh
grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives
us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other
parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman
reveals:
Why PTA meetings and Back-to-School nights tap into parents' deepest
insecurities.
How to recognize the archetypal moms and dads—from Caveman Dad to
Hovercraft Mom.
How and when to step in and step out of your child's conflicts with other
children, parents, teachers, or coaches.
How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke)
confrontation.
Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is
that they step up to the plate.
What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to
bully and dominate other kids and adults.
How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about
sex and drugs when your values are in conflict.
How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance
affects your child.
How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button
subjects sabotage parents' ability to work together.
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories
that made Wiseman's New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees &
Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents
with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad
parents—the kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do
when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is
promptly transferred into the honors program–while your son with better
grades doesn't make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter
compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach
who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical
advice on avoiding the most common parenting "land mines" and useful scripts
to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations.
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today.
It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents – and the
inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and
set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children's
lives.
Wiseman's first book exposed the bitchy world of cliques and "queen-bee" teens - but here she goes further into the hive, to explore the psyches of the queen bee moms (and king-pin dads) who were once teenagers and who, more often than not, are busily nurturing the next generation of "queen-bees". Wiseman counsels parents to find a happy medium between being overprotective parents and frighteningly passive - offering advice on how parents should approach difficult situations with coaches, teachers and, of course, other parents. (Reviewed by BookBrowse Review Team).
Library Journal - Linda Beck
A psychologist and mother, Wiseman does a magnificent job of cracking the code of "parentspeak" ..... Ours is a messy, get-ahead-now world. Wiseman makes sense of it. Highly recommended.
Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. Wiseman wants to show people how to behave better; she even includes sample scripts for difficult situations. Her bottom line: parents have to model good behavior if they want to end up with good kids. And since we all live in the same communities, good kids are in everyone's best interest.
James Garbarino, Ph.D., author of See Jane Hit and Lost Boys
Rosalind Wiseman has a good ear and a good eye. She watches and listens to
the every day talk of kids and adults and hears and sees below the surface
to identify important underlying social realities. In Queen Bee Moms andKingpin Dads she provides a road map for parents to help them
negotiate the treacherous waters of adult peer culture on behalf of their
children and their own peace of mind.
William Pollack, author of Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
Wise yet
practical and full of humor, Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is a
must-read for parents who want to deal with the other adults in their
children's lives with skill and compassion, rather than wrath and confusion.
Rosalind Wiseman's thoughtful suggestions will spare parents endless
conflicts and substitute creative interventions. This book forces us to look
ourselves in the mirror and face both our strengths and weaknesses while
inspiring us to act as strong yet empathic role models for our children in a
much-too-pressured and competitive world.
Michael Gurian, author of The Minds of Boys and The Wonder of Girls Queen Bee Moms andKingpin Dads is honest and wise. As a
father, I found the insights, stories and practical information in this book
very powerful. As a professional, I found the book's basic premise to be
profoundly important to the field of child development. Rosalind Wiseman
asks nothing less of us than basic human civility.
Some useful tips from Rosalind Wiseman (more at
The Seattle Times):
If you have a problem with a parent, teacher etc, speak one-on-one first because challenging someone's authority in front of others is likely to backfire.
Avoid inflammatory words. E.g.
trade "acknowledge" for "apologize."
Be wary of "advocates" - however
strongly a parent may feel about his/her child's cause it doesn't
warrant uncivil behavior.
Don't promise you won't get involved. It's
usually best to give kids a chance to resolve issues on their
own, but with adult support.
Step in if you see a pattern
of unfairness or disrespect. But in most cases, let kids work out grades
with teachers.
Gather information first. There are
always two sides to a story!
Don't go above someone's head
until you and your child have tried addressing the issue.
Don't make friendship the goal.
If you speak with other parents about the way their child is treating yours,
be clear that you...
Wake up, America: We’re raising a nation of wimps.
Hothouse parenting has hit the mainstream—with disastrous effects. Teens lack leadership skills. College students engage in deadly binge drinking. Graduates can’t even negotiate their own salaries without bringing mom or dad in for a consult.
An awe-inspiring, often hilarious, and unerringly honest story of one mother's exercise in extreme parenting, revealing the rewards - and the costs - of raising her children the Chinese way.
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(439 words).
James Garbarino, Ph.D., author of See Jane Hit and Lost Boys
