Excerpt of The Elephanta Suite by Paul Theroux
(Page 5 of 7)
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Beth was a stranger to me when we met, too, he said. Picked
her up in a bar.
He overheard the Indian manBill? Rupesh?say, vas vesting
away and his own urineand he turned away from the mans disappointed
My father, the man said, glad for another listener. He was in
intensive care at Georgetown Medical Center. They said they couldnt do any
more for his condition, which was inoperable cancer of pancreas. He will be
more comfortable at home. They were abandoning him, no question. He was
wasting. As last resort we saw a yogi. He prescribed the urine cure. My
father was instructed to drink a beaker of his own urine first thing in morning.
He did so. After a week he grew stronger. Appetite came back. Hunger was
there. Thirst was there. Second week, my God, he began to put on weight.
Skin better, head clear. Third week he was walking a bit. Balance was there.
Two months of this, drinking urine, and body was clear. Doctor
That was another thing: one minute it was budget projections and
stock analysis, the next minute it was horoscopes and arranged marriages
and the wonder of drinking your own whiz.
I tell you, India is booming, the man said when Audie did not
react. There is no stopping it. Bangalore is next Silicon Valley. Innovation!
So I heard, Audie said, but all I see in Indiaand he smiled at
the coupleall I see in India is people reinventing the flat tire.
Soon after that the couple smiled, and said theyd enjoyed
meeting them, and excused themselves; and only then did Audie take notice
of them, because he was unable to tell from their manner whether they were
offended and abruptly ducking out or else actually meant what they said. It
was a kind of inscrutability he had not associated with Indians. He was
He seemed nice, Beth said.
Nice doesnt seem like the right word for Indians, Audie said.
Its a little too bland. Lavish, outlandish, pious, talkative,
overbearing, in your face, slippery, insincere, holyIm thinking they are
Indian words. That talk about drinking number onedid you ever hear
anything like it?
I wasnt listening. I thought he was handsome. Thats the trouble
with youyou expect them to make sense.
What do you do?
I look at them talking. I dont listen. Didnt you notice he had
They had gotten up and were leaving the table when they heard a
sharp Hello. An Indian man was bowing, another one whod materialized
next to them. He was carrying a clipboard.
Doctor, Beth saidshe had forgotten his name, but he too wore
an Agni nameplate, lettered Nagaraj. Doctor Nagaraj.
He had said that he would see them at dinner, and they had
forgotten theyd promised theyd see him. But he was unfussed, saying Not
to worry as they apologized, and again Audie smiled at his inability to read
the mans moodwhether or not he minded their having forgotten him.
Weve already eaten, Audie said, seeing the waitress approach,
and he noticed it was the girl who had seated them, Anna. She held three
menus and stood next to the table, looking serene, patient, attentive. She
had a pale, round, Asiatic face, like a doll, her hair in a bun, drawn back
tight, giving her prominent ears. She was small, quick to smile when she was
Is that short for somethingmaybe Annapurna?
No, sir. Mother of Mary. I am Christian, sir.
Copyright © 2007 by Paul Theroux. Reprinted by permission of Houghton