But the exact opposite of what I want, considered Howard,
rocking in his chair, is what always fucking happens.
Kiki stopped what she was doing. Right. Because you never get
what you want. Your life is just an orgy of deprivation.
This nodded at the recent trouble. It was an offer
to kick open
a door in the mansion of their marriage leading on to an
antechamber
of misery. The offer
was declined. Kiki instead began that
familiar puzzle of getting her small knapsack to sit in the
middle of
her giant back.
Howard stood up and rearranged himself decently in his
bathrobe. Do we have their address at least? he asked. Home
address?
Kiki pressed her fingers to each temple like a carnival
mindreader.
She spoke slowly, and, though the pose was sarcastic, her
eyes were wet.
I want to understand what it is you think weve done to you.
Your family. What is it weve done? Have we deprived you of
something?
Howard sighed and looked away. Im giving a paper in Cambridge
on Tuesday anyway I might as well fly to London a day
earlier, if only to
Kiki slapped the table. Oh,
God, this isnt
hapening Jerome can
marry who the hell he wants to marry or are we going to start
making up visiting cards and asking him to meet only the
daughters
of academics that you
happen to
Might the address be in the green moleskin?
Now she blinked away the possibility of tears. I dont
know
where the address might be,
she said, impersonating his accent.
Find it yourself. Maybe its hidden underneath the crap in that
damn hovel
of yours.
Thanks so
much, said Howard and began his return journey up
the stairs to his study.
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