Bernie opines that "too much love could drown you just as well as neglect could." What do you think she meant, and do you agree with her?

Bernie opines that "too much love could drown you just as well as neglect could." What do you think she means, and do you agree with her? Do you think she experienced either too much love or neglect?

I think she felt her mother's love was drowning her. She felt responsible for her mother because of her mother's vulnerability and she wasn't able to live a life not consumed by worry. Brid was so dysfunctional that Bernie had too much of both, neither in a good way

I noted that quote when I read the book as I felt that Brid was not drowning her daughter with Love, but rather with need.

Brid was a dependent mother controlled by shame, guilt and fear. The responsibility Bernie felt to make sure her mother was ok was exhausting her. She was ready to be more independent. She also craved a more interactive relationship with her mother but her mother had too many secrets she wouldn’t share to have a healthy relationship. Love itself is seldom the problem. The problem is manipulating how it is dispersed or given.

Neither allows an individual to grow. Both stifle development of a healthy personality and life outlook.

I do agree with Bernie. Especially after the death of Ina, her mother's love became toxic. She constantly had to be the mother to her mother, making sure she was alright. It is the flip side of neglect; both neglect and too much love stunt a daughter's growth and keep her from self-actualizing.

I think some people love so hard and so deep that it can be smothering. Bernie sees this in her mother and we see this in Brid's love for her sister. For some it can be a fine line that people teeter on throughout their relationships. I agree with Bernie.

Brid was smothering her because she was so fearful that something bad would happen to Bernie.

I do feel that Bernie felt "drowned" by her mothers love. Brid was so consumed with Bernie and was afraid that she would lose her because she felt she was all she really had.