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Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

Created: 04/30/12

Replies: 13

Posted Apr. 30, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
admin

Join Date: 10/11/10

Posts: 369

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Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

This is a book about three women who are friends from childhood, but their friendship is occasionally rocky. Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship as we used to romanticize men-women relationships?


Posted May. 01, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

Right away I thought of the book/film 'Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,' though I didn't read the book or see the film! Seems this was one of the earlier examples of this genre. Any others come to mind? My brain seems to have frozen...


Posted May. 01, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 547

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RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells and the Saving Graces by Patrica Gaffney come to my mind.


Posted May. 01, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jorie

Join Date: 04/19/12

Posts: 14

RE: romanticizing women's friendships and their connections to each other

I take a bit of a different stance on this particular question, as although we could list an arrary of books and films alike that fit into this catagory, I wouldn't personally go as far as to say there is a leaning towards romanticizing the interconnectedness of women by which evolves through close friendships of the same sex. I think there are people who come into your life that can be very compatitable as much as I think there are some people who can take on a more fire and ice spectrum of relatability. Your not always going to find someone who fuses into your life without friction but not everyone who causes friction is going to be someone you don't want to have around either. Each of us is drawn to different types of personalities and its our interests, both mutual and different that set us apart from one another. Women have the tendency of forming sisterhood bonds with each other, which makes their connection both rewarding and difficult at times. I think for the most part, books and films, lend themselves to the honesty of what is experienced in our own lives, but tend to take on an element of fantasy in certain storylines in order to encompass a larger picture.

I personally can speak on the "Travelling Pants" series, as I watched the first film before reading the first three books in the series. I was on the fence about this series, both in film and book formats, as I wasn't sure how they were going to treat the subject matter. What I found in the books is a riveting honesty about the difficult lessons that we have to go through in life as individuals and the choices we have to make along the journey we take to keep our relationships intact. Life affords lessons that help shape and guide us throughout our days, but its the people who stick with us, who are determined to help us smile when we'd rather cry, and hold us up when we forget how to stand. They are usually the same people who stand out in our minds as the days move forward.

There is a lot inside the book series to these characters lives, and I think the first film did a great job in introducing us to who they are and the different struggles they are each facing at that period of time in their teenage years. Its my goal to read straight through the series, as I want to continue to get to know the girls and have a window into where their lives are headed.

I know the film industry takes flak for being romantically inclined to paint everyday life in nearly every subject they choose to characterize in motion picture,... but personally, one of the reasons I appreciate films so very much, is the brief escape of the woes that might greet you in life to parlay for a few moments into someone else's shoes and to learn about someone else's life if only for that brief period of time. There are gems in modern cinema as much as classical cinema that I think are overlooked by putting too much empathsis on cross-comparing real life to fictional ones. Some might say this is life viewed in a romanticized way, and if that is true, than so be it.

There are always elements of truth in each medium of art. Writing is the expression of the writer whose fuses their life experiences and their outward observations into the written realms, whereas the film maker paints the juxposition of life into the canvas of light, sound, and picture.

It all depends on your personal approach and how you personally internalize what you read or watch on screen. I'd imagine for everyone who responds, we'll all have a uniquely different answer to share.


Posted May. 02, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
laurag

Join Date: 04/16/12

Posts: 9

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

Perhaps, but I really liked the relationships in this book. They were far from perfect relationships. They didn't like things about each other and yet they were forever entwined. For this reason, I think it was realistic.


Posted May. 02, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
laurag

Join Date: 04/16/12

Posts: 9

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

I wouldn't call this was a romanticized group of relationships at all.


Posted May. 02, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
melissay

Join Date: 12/11/11

Posts: 6

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

I agree that these were not romantiicized relationships. Consider the time in which the story takes place - most men were gone to war and the world was a very scary place. The women in the book needed each other to cope with the world around them.


Posted May. 02, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

melissay,

Great point. It's no wonder women bonded more closely during a time a large percentage of men had gone to war. I also think it's interesting that, during any war, marriages are rushed into. Many times these end up being unhappy, as there wasn't time for much forethought. That's another time women would seek out others like themselves, to commiserate.


Posted May. 02, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
laurag

Join Date: 04/16/12

Posts: 9

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

That's true, but don't you think it's sad that they don't share the really big stuff? They were taught to keep quiet about what really went on inside their homes out of a sense of decency. Nowadays we can tell our girlfriends the good, the bad, and the ugly (if we choose). It seems in this time, the bad and the ugly is ignored. It must have made it hard on these women to really relate to each other. Granted in this book they were all experiencing different things but because of society, even if it was the same things, they wouldn't have known that about each other.


Posted May. 02, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
ritaq

Join Date: 01/20/12

Posts: 3

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

Definitely the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood shows a similar example of close female relationships and the loyalty to keep a secret even at the risk of someone else's needless suffering and misunderstanding. It's such a shame -


Posted May. 02, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
kathrynk

Join Date: 05/21/11

Posts: 31

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

I have a feeling that the story in this book is pretty realistic of that day. There was just so many things that were not shared or talked about. It makes me feel very thankful that times have changed. What I do find discouraging is that with all that a woman now typically deals with in her life, there isn't a lot of time to even be with friends let alone significant sharing of feelings. Psychology and sociological research is finding that women are having more stress related health issues similar to men because there isn't time to build significant relationships with other women as in the past I think these stories encourage women to work at relationships that have more depth than the more shallow ones we have.


Posted May. 07, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sharden

Join Date: 08/11/11

Posts: 2

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

No, I think more of the recent books try to offer insight into friendships among women. Some of the movies are more silly in this respect, but the books show inter-relationships and friendships through time. This is a topic of interest and newer authors are writing to appeal to the readers. This interest also seems to apply to sisters or close family relationships as well. We want to read about what we know and/or to compare our own lives to the lives of the characters.
Previously during times of war, women were left to care for the home front and depend on each other, as in the case of this book. In our current war, women go to war and families and friendships are disrupted. The same can be seen in working women who have little time for friendships to develop or have to compete with men for high level jobs and don't have time to cultivate serious friendships. That is where the escapism of reading books comes in.


Posted May. 12, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
Denise B-K

Join Date: 01/19/12

Posts: 26

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

Also agree with laurag that the friendships in this book were not romanticized. Their relationships are described by Babe with great insight on page 191...
...when she reminisces about how she and Millie "have been best friends since the first day of kindergarten" and "love one another with an atavistic ferocity"
...though she also acknowledges "these days perhaps they do not much like one another"
...then she compares friendship to marital and parent-child relationships
After this she examines her thoughts and interactions with Naomi, African American in service to Grace, with shame. This is a significant turning point in Babe's life!


Posted May. 16, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
malindan

Join Date: 05/10/12

Posts: 36

RE: Do you think the recent spate of books and movies about women’s friendship romanticize the relationship?

I do think that many novels romanticize the "bonds that women share". I think a lot of those types of friendships depend upon whether you choose to work and live in the community in which you where raised. Having moved many times during my marriage, I have met and been friends with many wonderful women. Some I keep in better contact than others. That being said, the idea of very different friends remaining so close can be very real. In this case the women all grow and change while living in the same small town so the idea that they remain close although being very different people is quite believable. It is not so true if women choose to go to different colleges, in different states and then start families far from their roots. That is not to say that they don't develope close female ties but they are always different from the ones presented in this story.


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