Summary and book reviews of The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life by Dr Joy Browne

The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life

and The Eight Realities That Will Save You

by Dr Joy Browne

The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life by Dr Joy Browne X
The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life by Dr Joy Browne
  • Critics' Opinion:

    Readers' Opinion:

  • First Published:
    Oct 1998, 256 pages
    Paperback:
    Sep 1999, 255 pages

  • Rate this book


Buy This Book

About this Book

Book Summary

Shows you how to apply simple, powerful ideas to your marriage, personal relationships, career, finances, health, and every other area of your life.

Every day on her nationally syndicated radio program Dr. Joy Browne gets calls from people looking for sympathy.

They don't get it.

Many of Dr. Joy's nine million listeners--like so many of us--seek the kind of help that only makes us feel good about feeling bad. Dr. Joy believes that we can do better. She knows we can feel good for the best reason of all: because we have gathered the courage and the smarts to say good-bye to the fantasies that perpetuate our problems and shake hands with the realities that give us control of our lives.

Dr. Joy has spent nearly twenty years listening to and advising thousands of women and men about their frustrations and disappointments. She has diagnosed the ways we get in trouble and stay there. In turn, she has a proven prescription for freedom from our self-defeating patterns of thought and behavior that allows for real progress toward our goals. She calls her plan for emotional health The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life and the Eight Realities That Will Save You.

What are they?
Among the Fantasies, Dr. Joy includes such harmful but highly touted ideas as:

  • Somewhere I Have a Soulmate
  • Winning the Lottery Will Set Me Free
  • Confession Is Good for the Soul

The Realities are less warm-and-fuzzy but a lot more in tune with the world we live in:

  • Attitude Is Everything
  • Go for Short-Term Pain, Long-Term Gain
  • People Do Things for Reasons

In The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life and the Eight Realities That Will Save You, Dr. Joy Browne shows you how to apply these simple, powerful ideas to your marriage, personal relationships, career, finances, health, and every other area of your life.

No matter how difficult or long-standing your problems, Dr. Joy will show you how to become a fearless, focused, and, most important, happy adventurer in your own life. That may sound like a fantasy, but you can make it your new reality.

Dr. Joy on Fantasies
"Look, I know you think fantasies are fun, sexy, and cool, whether your dream is of Cinderella or Prince Charming, or that your love will be passionate, available, rich, gorgeous, and lovable. Everybody indulges in fantasies from time to time, but as a lifestyle choice, we're talking dis-as-ter! Even if these seemingly harmless little devils don't ruin your life, they can cause a lot of avoidable misery. . . . Fantasies are a distraction from the business of running our lives successfully and realistically. I plan to wrestle these pesky critters to the ground so we can all get on with the pleasure of focused thoughts and energy."

Dr. Joy on Realities
"We've become so used to the idea that the real world is dangerous that reality has gotten a really bad reputation. I'm going to show you that reality is a lot less scary than you've been led to believe, and that it is actually potentially helpful, healthy, life-affirming, and the most useful game in town."

Excerpt
The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life
and The Eight Realities That Will Save You

Look, I know you think fantasies are fun, sexy, and cool, whether you dream of being Cinderella or Prince Charming, or that your love will be passionate, available, rich, gorgeous, and lovable. Even if you think of yourself as too old or too sophisticated to believe in fairy tales, I'll bet you occasionally indulge in the giddy notion of someday playing for the L.A. Lakers or winning the gold in wrestling by overpowering that third-grade bully who still haunts your nightmares. Maybe in this alternate reality, you're accepting an Oscar or being crowned Miss America or doing something you won't admit to in public. Everybody indulges in fantasies from time to time, but as a lifestyle choice, we're talking di-sas-ter! Even if these seemingly harmless little devils don't ruin your life, they can cause a lot of ...

Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" backstories
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $10 for 3 months or $35 for a year
  • More about membership!

Reviews

Media Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Many readers will be happy to find out why and how "charity always feels terrific for the giver and uncomfortable and controlling for the receiver," why casting oneself as a victim won't make things better or how the idea of "falling in love... has been used to cover up the very real fears about intimacy, dependence and rejection that are inherent in learning to love someone."

Reader Reviews

Mandy Hall

A worthless book.
Another worthless self-help trash.

Write your own review!

Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" backstories
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $10 for 3 months or $35 for a year
  • More about membership!

Readalikes

Readalikes Full readalike results are for members only

If you liked The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life, try these:

  • If Success Is The Game These Are The Rules jacket

    If Success Is The Game These Are The Rules

    by Cherie Carter-Scott

    Published 2001

    About this book

    Success both drives and confounds people from all walks of life, and this valuable handbook at last reveals the true power and meaning of this goal for us all.

  • Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever jacket

    Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever

    by Judge Judy Sheindlin

    Published 2000

    About this book

    Judge Judy exposes, with her trademark wit and wisdom, these dirty little secrets so many women share and offers her own take on the destructive repercussions they have on women.

Non-members are limited to two results. Become a member
Search Readalikes again
How we choose readalikes

Books with similar themes


Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" backstories
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $10 for 3 months or $35 for a year
  • More about membership!

Editor's Choice

  • Book Jacket
    Grace
    by Paul Lynch
    Harrowing. Gorgeous. Epic. Grace, Paul Lynch's coming of age novel about a young woman, is set ...
  • Book Jacket: The Perfectionists
    The Perfectionists
    by Simon Winchester
    We seek precision in our lives every day. We want to drive from home to work and work to home safely...
  • Book Jacket: Beauty in the Broken Places
    Beauty in the Broken Places
    by Allison Pataki
    Ernest Hemingway wrote that we are "strong at the broken places," and Allison Pataki found that to ...
  • Book Jacket
    Love and Other Consolation Prizes
    by Jamie Ford
    Love and Other Consolation Prizes was read and reviewed by 22 BookBrowse members for First ...

Book Discussion
Book Jacket
The Twelve-Mile Straight by Eleanor Henderson

An audacious American epic set in rural Georgia during the years of the Depression and Prohibition.

About the book
Join the discussion!

Readers Recommend

  • Book Jacket

    Clock Dance
    by Anne Tyler

    A delightful novel of one woman's transformative journey, from the best-selling and Pulitzer Prize-winning writer.
    Reader Reviews

  • Book Jacket

    The Summer Wives
    by Beatriz Williams

    An electrifying postwar fable of love, class, power and redemption set on an island off the New England coast.
    Reader Reviews

Win this book!
Win A Place for Us

A Place For Us

A deeply moving story of love, identity and belonging--the first novel from Sarah Jessica Parker's new imprint.

Enter

Word Play

Solve this clue:

H, W H A Problem

and be entered to win..

Books that     
entertain,
     engage

 & enlighten

Visitors can view some of BookBrowse for free. Full access is for members only.

Join Today!

Your guide toexceptional          books

BookBrowse seeks out and recommends books that we believe to be best in class. Books that will whisk you to faraway places and times, that will expand your mind and challenge you -- the kinds of books you just can't wait to tell your friends about.